Below is the article that CSU journalist student Kate Merkin wrote after profiling me for two months.
http://www.collegian.com/index.php/article/2012/04/katie_cashman
Isn't it funny; it was October 2011, I committed to my very first public speaking event and my first "Ask a Medium" event ever. The entire experience was being guided by divine order and my only job was to say "yes" and show up.
I met Kerrie Flanagan, the director of Northern Colorado Writers group only a few months before. I took a On Writing (by Steven King) class that Kerrie was leading. I asked Kerrie to edit my laboured book proposal that I was sending to Hays House due November 2011. At one of our edit meetings at Barnes and Nobles she asked if I have ever thought of doing something public. I gasped, I had been getting that information from my guides for months but didn't know HOW to do it. I told her my ideas of this "Ask A Medium" event. She thought is was great and we booked the first event that October.
The day of the event I cleaned my house from top to bottom to stave off the nervous, near sick energy I was creating for myself. Yes I knew I had been killed in lives past for speaking in public, my cell memory was reminding me as it got hot and began to tremble at the mere thought of my commitment. One thing I knew, I was comfortable with Kerrie and I trusted her. She did everything. All I had to do was show up and do the best I could.
6pm rolled by as I got in the Hummer for the journey of doing my work, alone, and in public. 12 people were to attend. I will educate them on what a Psychic is, what a Medium is and teach them about their own guidance systerm. I'll answer questions and maybe go over a few Myths of what I do. Then I would read each person for around 5 minutes in a semi circle. I wanted to get out of it and quit on myself as I had done 1,000 times before. What I realized on that drive to the studio was that under my fear was a feeling of utter joy, excitement and life. "Could I contain this much joy in my life without "getting out if it," I wondered. "Has the fear been more comfortable then the joy all of these year? Yes, it has been. I've had enough fear in my life and I'm going to face it and see where this joy and excitement can go," I said to myself.
As I walked in I felt a calming and I promised myself "all I have to do is show up. If I pass out, I pass out." I met a few people for the first time. They were kind. A journalist student walked up and asks if it's ok to write about the event for a project she has to do for school. In those seconds I remember thinking, "oh god, it's my first one and you want to right about it....." "Sure, that's fine," I said.
The event was wonderful and I didn't pass out or die like I thought I would. I left feeling High and for the most part thought I was able to do a pretty good job. Little did I know that that event had changed my life forever.
Kate called for a full interview. Though I had family in town, I trusted my guides and the guides said "go, meet her, trust her." So I did.
I found my time with her to be fun, and purposeful. She cared and wasn't afraid of me in the least. Over the next few months she sat with me privately, she watched from behind me as I read 9 women privately at an event called Woo Woo, Wine Women and Chocolate, she called family and friends and of couse attended my "Ask A Medium" event. So many questions. I loved it ~ she reminded me of me. Questions illistrate passion and interest and I could feel her passion and respect for me and my work.
When she sent me a preview of the article I took a deep breath as I sat in my comfy chair to read. Tears streamed down my face as I witnessed me and my work though someone elses eyes. The guides were right; she was respectful, sincere and "got" me and my work. I was touched and felt honored.
I have a saying, "you are never alone ~ ever." And what this means is that you don't have to know how or why things will work out. I couldn't concieve of someone writing an aritlce on me, and I didn't know where to do a public event. But because I opened my heart and trusted, it all worked out for me though Kate and Kerrie and many other people.
What guidance are you blocking, afraid of and tell yourself that YOU alone have to figure it out? Your only job is acceptace (and finding out if you don't know) that you are who you are and to open your heart and say 'yes' to those opportunities that will come up. The worlds been waiting for you to be you since you were born. And,
You are never alone ~ Ever......
Monday, May 7, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Guides "Do" Prepare Us
"Now that the changes have been made, my heart, mind and spirit have accepted and caught up, I wonder how I ever lived without it now that it's my reality." ~ Katie Cashman
It all began last October. A close friend and colleague came to me for clarity about homeschooling her son. Though there we other options, homeschooling felt like the best thing not only for him, but everyone involved. As these words poured out of my mouth from the Guides, my mind wondered how it would all work. I-Katie have no personal reference of homeschooling. And society tells me that they have social issue and are closed minded. But in the midst of this conversation with my friend, the feeling I got was warm, loving and right. Something told me to "pay attention" to this conversation. I did, then filed it away in my mind under the catagory "Interesting."
During the holidays I noticed a huge shift of energy in my daughter. She was happier, nicer to her brother, and all around more present. We had a wonderful holiday and as the days of going back to school neared, I hoped this change in her would remain.
Monday morning in the light of dawn I had a vision. My daughter was sent down a hallway, got lost and no one would help her. I even remember wishing I named her Bob so that the unrefined ear could understand her when she told them her beautiful name. Most people ask her (or me) to repeat it a few times. I felt scared and shaken from this vision.
It was business as usual. I dressed the kids and took her to school. Prayed that my vision was merely that and asked the Angels to protect her and bring her back to me at 3:30. I called Maurice, my husband, and told him my vision. We agreed that I probably just miss her and have that all so normal anxiety of having your child out of your personal view and in the hands of someone you can only hope watches over them.
I picked her up as usual. On the drive home tears rolled down her cheeks as she said, "Mama, today I got lost and no one would help me!" Stunned, paralyzed I pulled to the side of the road. "What....," I said. "I got lost and no one would help me....." She just languages the vision of the morning and I paid attention.
After the children slept, Maurice and I took the many months of signs to heart, talked about all of our fears and "what ifs." I called my friend whom I counseled only a few months ago and got her advise. I couldn't send my little girl back to that school. That was very clear.
The following day I sign up for COVA a Public Schooling online. As I took every step seriously and carefully I became excited of what I was seeing and the quality of the program. But my attitude was that of fear and irritation. How was I going to do this, and do this right I wondered? It was all so out of my realm of reality that I had no idea how it would work, or if it would work. Memories of the horrible things I experienced during my years of schooling including preschool affirmed somewhere in me that this could be great. But I have a thing for tradition - yet completely aware that many aspects of me and my work go against tradition and all of this things in my life non traditional are more life affirming and beautiful the normal life would have had me know. Why would this be any different.
Wednesday came with no response from the school. I called the call desk where the guy informed me that I didn't do something right and today was the due date so sorry Charlie - you're not getting in....Having this guy so rudely tell me that I won't have a chance shifted my fear of the unknown to determination. I was going to get her into that school no matter what. Thoughts of me finding my own curriculum and having total control over what I taught her turned my stomach. Friends felt my urge and reached out. My beautiful friend Kerrie called to check on the progress. Having been in the education system as a teacher for many years allowed her to give me a direct phone number to COVA. I called and she was accepted right away.
Now, three weeks into the process, what I can say is that teaching my child 5 days a week, and being conscious how I speak to her about the lessons has changed everything for us. I've reached another level of emotional intimacy with my children I had only hoped existed. She is calmer, happier and more enthusiastic daily. So am I. There are many other factors that I dealt with in making this decision but that would be a small book the way I write.
I'm humbled that it is my children that are my greatest teachers. My daughter pushed me to understand my intuition once and for all that moment I realized that she is gifted as well. She has taught me to learn to feed myself, thus her healthfully. She has taught me to confront myself and my past so that I could be free thus freeing her. She has taught me that I am needed and loved, and that not only am I needed in the journey of her education, but my attention is critical to how well it turns out for her. Thoughtful hours of interaction with my daughter and son has brought a new level of energy, presence, priorities and life to my world.
All along the way my guides were gently saying, "pay attention." When the time was right, I took action and trusted that I was not alone and I would not be let down. Because of that trust life is richer then I thought possible.
It all began last October. A close friend and colleague came to me for clarity about homeschooling her son. Though there we other options, homeschooling felt like the best thing not only for him, but everyone involved. As these words poured out of my mouth from the Guides, my mind wondered how it would all work. I-Katie have no personal reference of homeschooling. And society tells me that they have social issue and are closed minded. But in the midst of this conversation with my friend, the feeling I got was warm, loving and right. Something told me to "pay attention" to this conversation. I did, then filed it away in my mind under the catagory "Interesting."
During the holidays I noticed a huge shift of energy in my daughter. She was happier, nicer to her brother, and all around more present. We had a wonderful holiday and as the days of going back to school neared, I hoped this change in her would remain.
Monday morning in the light of dawn I had a vision. My daughter was sent down a hallway, got lost and no one would help her. I even remember wishing I named her Bob so that the unrefined ear could understand her when she told them her beautiful name. Most people ask her (or me) to repeat it a few times. I felt scared and shaken from this vision.
It was business as usual. I dressed the kids and took her to school. Prayed that my vision was merely that and asked the Angels to protect her and bring her back to me at 3:30. I called Maurice, my husband, and told him my vision. We agreed that I probably just miss her and have that all so normal anxiety of having your child out of your personal view and in the hands of someone you can only hope watches over them.
I picked her up as usual. On the drive home tears rolled down her cheeks as she said, "Mama, today I got lost and no one would help me!" Stunned, paralyzed I pulled to the side of the road. "What....," I said. "I got lost and no one would help me....." She just languages the vision of the morning and I paid attention.
After the children slept, Maurice and I took the many months of signs to heart, talked about all of our fears and "what ifs." I called my friend whom I counseled only a few months ago and got her advise. I couldn't send my little girl back to that school. That was very clear.
The following day I sign up for COVA a Public Schooling online. As I took every step seriously and carefully I became excited of what I was seeing and the quality of the program. But my attitude was that of fear and irritation. How was I going to do this, and do this right I wondered? It was all so out of my realm of reality that I had no idea how it would work, or if it would work. Memories of the horrible things I experienced during my years of schooling including preschool affirmed somewhere in me that this could be great. But I have a thing for tradition - yet completely aware that many aspects of me and my work go against tradition and all of this things in my life non traditional are more life affirming and beautiful the normal life would have had me know. Why would this be any different.
Wednesday came with no response from the school. I called the call desk where the guy informed me that I didn't do something right and today was the due date so sorry Charlie - you're not getting in....Having this guy so rudely tell me that I won't have a chance shifted my fear of the unknown to determination. I was going to get her into that school no matter what. Thoughts of me finding my own curriculum and having total control over what I taught her turned my stomach. Friends felt my urge and reached out. My beautiful friend Kerrie called to check on the progress. Having been in the education system as a teacher for many years allowed her to give me a direct phone number to COVA. I called and she was accepted right away.
Now, three weeks into the process, what I can say is that teaching my child 5 days a week, and being conscious how I speak to her about the lessons has changed everything for us. I've reached another level of emotional intimacy with my children I had only hoped existed. She is calmer, happier and more enthusiastic daily. So am I. There are many other factors that I dealt with in making this decision but that would be a small book the way I write.
I'm humbled that it is my children that are my greatest teachers. My daughter pushed me to understand my intuition once and for all that moment I realized that she is gifted as well. She has taught me to learn to feed myself, thus her healthfully. She has taught me to confront myself and my past so that I could be free thus freeing her. She has taught me that I am needed and loved, and that not only am I needed in the journey of her education, but my attention is critical to how well it turns out for her. Thoughtful hours of interaction with my daughter and son has brought a new level of energy, presence, priorities and life to my world.
All along the way my guides were gently saying, "pay attention." When the time was right, I took action and trusted that I was not alone and I would not be let down. Because of that trust life is richer then I thought possible.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Sylvia Plath
Excuse my absence. I've gone through more changes the last month then a Broadway dancer. The biggest being "homeschooling." I've been wanting to sit and blog over the last month and all I have to show for it is scraps of lost paper with 5 to 6 topics I got passionate about. Life hits and poof, the scraps are gone right along with my brain.....
I'd like to talk about homeschooling and how that's blown my mind....But it seems our dear Sylvia Plath gets my attention tonight.
I don't know why she gets first pick at my brain returning after a month of education, but here we go....
Three weeks ago, I for some reason clicked my Direct TV button onto a movie that simply said, "Sylvia." I was tired and delirious and waiting to get the energy just to go to bed. Something stopped me. In my surrender "Sylvia," starring Gwenyth Paltro began. 'Oh, this must be about Sylvia Plath,' I thought. An hour into the movie I was sitting straight up like a soldier at boot camp. I yelled a few curses at the screen as I pleaded with Sylvia to wake up to her intuition. "Wake up, you don't have to do it," I cried.
As many of you may know Sylvia Plath's husband was a philanderer. He looked her dead in the eye, told her she was crazy and too sensitive. I have a feeling she knew it the first time she saw him. But like so many of us, she assumed that she was the problem, and hoped her intuition wasn't right.
From the movie's portrayal she knew exactly what was going on Intuitively. He didn't have to be doing it in front of her for her to read the energy of what he was doing, and will being doing and with who....I lamented that she did not have a teacher or support to understand her precious Psychic abilities. It literally could have saved her life...She could have trusted her intuition so much that she would never have given her heart to a man unable to respect it. She could have avoided sharing the miracle of children with someone more interest in him self.
I feel that many people that commit suicide are extremely Psychic people that pick up on a million pieces of information, don't know what to do with it other then internalize it and watch it turn against them. Life is full of people telling us Psychics, "you're just too sensitive." I was no exception to the rule.
It brought me back to the horror's of dating life. Sitting at dinner with a boyfriend and watching the string of Psychic information overwhelm me to the point of anger that I could hardly say a word. One boyfriend actually told me, "well I'm an artist, I have to look at people." Mean while he'd stick my head in the corner so I couldn't see a thing.
That's why understanding how Psychic I was, and realizing HOW it works in me has saved my life. Now if something makes me uncomfortable I know that I can ask a guide to affirm or explain what I feel, remote view to "see" what's really going on or, I've found a love and a value for myself that I now know that no matter what someone else chooses to do, I'll be OK....
Dear Sylvia wasn't too sensitive, she was Psychic. As I read the words of her poetry it is clear that she attempted to put words to thought, feeling and emotions that often are.....unseen
I'd like to talk about homeschooling and how that's blown my mind....But it seems our dear Sylvia Plath gets my attention tonight.
I don't know why she gets first pick at my brain returning after a month of education, but here we go....
Three weeks ago, I for some reason clicked my Direct TV button onto a movie that simply said, "Sylvia." I was tired and delirious and waiting to get the energy just to go to bed. Something stopped me. In my surrender "Sylvia," starring Gwenyth Paltro began. 'Oh, this must be about Sylvia Plath,' I thought. An hour into the movie I was sitting straight up like a soldier at boot camp. I yelled a few curses at the screen as I pleaded with Sylvia to wake up to her intuition. "Wake up, you don't have to do it," I cried.
As many of you may know Sylvia Plath's husband was a philanderer. He looked her dead in the eye, told her she was crazy and too sensitive. I have a feeling she knew it the first time she saw him. But like so many of us, she assumed that she was the problem, and hoped her intuition wasn't right.
From the movie's portrayal she knew exactly what was going on Intuitively. He didn't have to be doing it in front of her for her to read the energy of what he was doing, and will being doing and with who....I lamented that she did not have a teacher or support to understand her precious Psychic abilities. It literally could have saved her life...She could have trusted her intuition so much that she would never have given her heart to a man unable to respect it. She could have avoided sharing the miracle of children with someone more interest in him self.
I feel that many people that commit suicide are extremely Psychic people that pick up on a million pieces of information, don't know what to do with it other then internalize it and watch it turn against them. Life is full of people telling us Psychics, "you're just too sensitive." I was no exception to the rule.
It brought me back to the horror's of dating life. Sitting at dinner with a boyfriend and watching the string of Psychic information overwhelm me to the point of anger that I could hardly say a word. One boyfriend actually told me, "well I'm an artist, I have to look at people." Mean while he'd stick my head in the corner so I couldn't see a thing.
That's why understanding how Psychic I was, and realizing HOW it works in me has saved my life. Now if something makes me uncomfortable I know that I can ask a guide to affirm or explain what I feel, remote view to "see" what's really going on or, I've found a love and a value for myself that I now know that no matter what someone else chooses to do, I'll be OK....
Dear Sylvia wasn't too sensitive, she was Psychic. As I read the words of her poetry it is clear that she attempted to put words to thought, feeling and emotions that often are.....unseen
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