No Bitch'in

I titled this post as "No Bitch'in" because I've been through sooo many changes in the last few weeks.  Though I want to drone on and on about all of it - the intention of my blog is for creative expression, not for complaining.  With that being said - because of my ability to know that I don't know everything I got myself into some pretty unauthentic pracitces.  I love exploring new thought, new people, new ideas.  But the fact is is that if you loose yourself to the new, the affects can be so very damaging.  I had my first experience of a physical problem.  I had a spot come up on my chest/sternum that was cancerous.  I had to go in and have a surgery to take away the skin around it, "just in case."  I found the whole thing to be life chaning.  It was a big deal having these stitches in my chest, my body moving akward to protect it, being unable to let my two year old pound away in my arms.  My beautiful aunty Patty Mills passed away on Good Friday from her experience of Cancer.  As my family in Montana celebrated her life with a service - I was on a table getting mine cut out..."Is this the reason I'm sooo attracted to Raw Food?" I thought to myself.  I am challenging myself for better authenticity, more disipline in the things that I care about and better dilligence in my eating clean.  Sometimes the denile we find ourselves in is so deep that we don't even know we're there again.  "Boom!" Somethings happens and we're forced back into ourselves, and, if we're open, back to the road we were supposed to be on.  As a medium, I know there is so much more then the sun and diet as to why I created that skin cancer cell.  And as a human, I know the very fact that I think my beautiful white skin should be darker (for who?) is the very act of self denile.