Guides "Do" Prepare Us

"Now that the changes have been made, my heart, mind and spirit have accepted and caught up, I wonder how I ever lived without it now that it's my reality."  ~  Katie Cashman

It all began last October. A close friend and colleague came to me for clarity about homeschooling her son. Though there we other options, homeschooling felt like the best thing not only for him, but everyone involved. As these words poured out of my mouth from the Guides, my mind wondered how it would all work. I-Katie have no personal reference of homeschooling. And society tells me that they have social issue and are closed minded. But in the midst of this conversation with my friend, the feeling I got was warm, loving and right. Something told me to "pay attention" to this conversation. I did, then filed it away in my mind under the catagory "Interesting."

During the holidays I noticed a huge shift of energy in my daughter. She was happier, nicer to her brother, and all around more present. We had a wonderful holiday and as the days of going back to school neared, I hoped this change in her would remain.

Monday morning in the light of dawn I had a vision. My daughter was sent down a hallway, got lost and no one would help her. I even remember wishing I named her Bob so that the unrefined ear could understand her when she told them her beautiful name. Most people ask her (or me) to repeat it a few times. I felt scared and shaken from this vision.

It was business as usual. I dressed the kids and took her to school. Prayed that my vision was merely that and asked the Angels to protect her and bring her back to me at 3:30. I called Maurice, my husband, and told him my vision. We agreed that I probably just miss her and have that all so normal anxiety of having your child out of your personal view and in the hands of someone you can only hope watches over them. 

I picked her up as usual. On the drive home tears rolled down her cheeks as she said, "Mama, today I got lost and no one would help me!" Stunned, paralyzed I pulled to the side of the road.  "What....," I said. "I got lost and no one would help me....."  She just languages the vision of the morning and I paid attention.

After the children slept, Maurice and I took the many months of signs to heart, talked about all of our fears and "what ifs." I called my friend whom I counseled only a few months ago and got her advise. I couldn't send my little girl back to that school. That was very clear.

The following day I sign up for COVA a Public Schooling online. As I took every step seriously and carefully I became excited of what I was seeing and the quality of the program. But my attitude was that of fear and irritation.  How was I going to do this, and do this right I wondered? It was all so out of my realm of reality that I had no idea how it would work, or if it would work.  Memories of the horrible things I experienced during my years of schooling including preschool affirmed somewhere in me that this could be great. But I have a thing for tradition - yet completely aware that many aspects of me and my work go against tradition and all of this things in my life non traditional are more life affirming and beautiful the normal life would have had me know. Why would this be any different. 

Wednesday came with no response from the school. I called the call desk where the guy informed me that I didn't do something right and today was the due date so sorry Charlie - you're not getting in....Having this guy so rudely tell me that I won't have a chance shifted my fear of the unknown to determination. I was going to get her into that school no matter what. Thoughts of me finding my own curriculum and having total control over what I taught her turned my stomach. Friends felt my urge and reached out. My beautiful friend Kerrie called to check on the progress. Having been in the education system as a teacher for many years allowed her to give me a direct phone number to COVA. I called and she was accepted right away.

Now, three weeks into the process, what I can say is that teaching my child 5 days a week, and being conscious how I speak to her about the lessons has changed everything for us. I've reached another level of emotional intimacy with my children I had only hoped existed. She is calmer, happier and more enthusiastic daily. So am I. There are many other factors that I dealt with in making this decision but that would be a small book the way I write.

I'm humbled that it is my children that are my greatest teachers. My daughter pushed me to understand my intuition once and for all that moment I realized that she is gifted as well. She has taught me to learn to feed myself, thus her healthfully. She has taught me to confront myself and my past so that I could be free thus freeing her. She has taught me that I am needed and loved, and that not only am I needed in the journey of her education, but my attention is critical to how well it turns out for her. Thoughtful hours of interaction with my daughter and son has brought a new level of energy, presence, priorities and life to my world.

All along the way my guides were gently saying, "pay attention." When the time was right, I took action and trusted that I was not alone and I would not be let down. Because of that trust life is richer then I thought possible.