Motherhood
I've pushed through a huge pattern this month. Three month's after my daughter was born (she's 6 now) my husbands job moved us to New England. Without realizing it we became the most over protected parents on the planet. We even bought a $3,000 home gym including something that resembles a Smith machine, weight stack and a good treadmill. We did this because she was so precious to us - we didn't trust a Gym daycare. Basically for those two years my daughter was by my side 100% of the time. In fact, she didn't even really need to talk because I understood her every need and other then two or three visits from family - we didn't engage with anyone else other then the daily nosy neighbors. Four years ago we moved here and it was a very slow journey in finally joining a gym ( just to get out of the house) and getting my girl into Pre School when she was four. It was only two years ago that I let a friend watch my kids while my husband and I went on a date. Our first date in four years and two kids later was weird. I didn't know how to talk to him and I was afraid that we'd lost the magic that was there before we had kids, but months later on our second date there was a lightening of the spirit and I loved having that alone time with him. And I could see how important these dates were.
The major push into reality was about a month ago my husband had to catch an early flight and he'd already left for the airport an hour away. I took the kids out to the car for my girls last three days of school and with no earlier indication - the car didn't start.. Dead. I started crying realizing that I was going to be alone with two kids, no car and a few days of school left. I called my husband whom yelled, "what am I supposed to do about it - I'm going to miss my flight!" He came home and we threw the kids in the truck and got our girl off to school. It took my husband missing his plane for work for me to realize that I cannot do it on my own. Six months earlier I'd ran into a woman that I met when I moved here. I knew she was an over protected mother, a good mother. In our brief conversation she mentioned a drop off kids place in town that was "Incredible!" Last week when my hip went out I scheduled a quick chiropractic session. I'd normally drag my kids with me, be stressed out that they would be too loud, whine too much. That morning I thought, "no, it's better for me and it's better for the kids if I take this opportunity to reach out for help". I took them to the drop off care and when I returned, they were so happy and had a great time. And I was calm and relaxed - because I had put my Wonder Woman cape in the closet and left it home.....
This week, I broke a pattern yesterday when I took my nearly 3 year old son to the hair dressers for the first time. I cut every ones hair to save a buck and in return get screamed at and work up a sweat wrestling the little guy trying to cut a straight line in his hair. But yesterday he sat in a little red fire truck and watched Charlie Brown while a very nice lady cut his hair and I got to just sit back and relax and enjoy a professional do her work!
Sometimes the best intentions create a pattern that is not always the healthiest in the long run. Even though it was hard taking those two steps, I feel lighter and brighter for having the courage to do something "different." And every ones happier especially the kids.....
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