Authentic from here

By myself:
I have been very happy in my Raw Food practice.  As I said before I've gone less Gourmet and more Living foods i.e. Wheat grass, green juice, energy soup and salads and though I've been happy in that aspect of my life, changes are going on from within on an emotional level.  I feel my life slamming me into Authentichood more then ever and even on the slightest action or words of non-authenticity, I feel the back lash of my body and my mood.  Spirit yells, "why are you doing that, why are you saying that.!"  I've been lifting heavy and hard weights for over two years now.  I adore the strenght that my body posses now, but I don't love the area's that it asks me to give up i.e. Running.  For the last few years as I lift and run, every time I over do it I get run down or sick.  For months now I've been doing really good on getting the Raw in and I still get run down.  So I ask myself, "why am I truely lifting?" Yes, I do enjoy it but I wonder if it speaks to my thoughts of  being wonder woman - lifter and mover of all things."  When I was pregnant it was running that I most fantacized about - not lifting 20lbs over my head.  I do enjoy Yoga and have tried to do less lifting more yoga and I still find myself, "am I doing this because I have too or because I want to?"  I've come to see that if I'm asking myself "why," it's my sign that it's not authentic for me and my spirit.  Do I still think that I should lift weights and do Yoga - yes; but not with the same intensity that I run, clean house, play with my kids and tone in other fun ways.  I've been referencing one time, one year in my life that every single thing that I did was so totally authentic that I remember nothing but complete power and pride in who I was.  My 12th grade year. Yes I went to school and yes I had a job I didn't care for, but I never once asked myself, "why am I listening to this music, why am I wearing this, am I talking to EVERYONE?"  When we leave home and school it seems like we immediately put on some sort of mask or begin that painful journey into external acceptance rather then that internal dial of spirit.  I went right into Real Estate at 18.  I was actually pretty darn good at it because I was doing something that I loved, but I dressed "grow up," and I had a single mission to not have my age found out. And as I look back, that was the beginning of Pretending.  So I find myself trying to get back to myself in a very deep way and as I ask the questions "why," I gratiously remember that girl that walked so tall and spoke so directly and loved her life, music, clothing and dreams.  And I've come to know in the last few years that being who you are gives everyone else the permission to be who they are and we can all be much more life filled.  I admire women that live their selves couragously and seemingly fearlessly no matter what their steak in life is - if I feel the truth - I just revel in their beings. As a Medium I know there is so much more to illness and death and no matter what you eat, it's not the only reason that we cross over.  But I like putting premium fuel in the only veichal that I'll ever have in this life. And with that, nurture my ancient spirit and let itself annimate its own truth, it's own purpose and you can love me or hate me, but at least you will know me...Humm, I like that, I think I just came up with it, "you can love me or hate me, but at least you'll know me....Isn't that what we long for the most, being known, being seen and seeing that in others.  That's what I love about death - when people are faced with it their most authentic selves come forward and people sometimes meet for the first time people that they've known forever. 

Spirt is Behind it...

Isn't it amazing how all things are strung together by Spirit.  Remember the Starbucks gift card that I recieved from a mother named Jamie as my son had his sidewalk roll down. Well for some reason I felt like it hadn't ever been the right time to use it.  I had a few coffee's since then, but it never felt "right" to use the card.  Sunday was the day that I tried to use my gift card at Barnes and Nobles Starbucks. They declined using it because they apparently do not concider themselves Starbucks (boo).  So I paid cash for my childrens cookie and my husband and I's coffee.  As my family was leaving Barnes I noticed a man looking run down and digging in the garbage.  After we got the kids in the car and I "read" him I hopped out and told him that if he was hungry I had this card for him.  He was taken aback and deeply grateful.  He told me his name was Richard and I told him mine.  I reached out and touched his arm and said that I was glad to know him.  It was about to rain as we said our good-byes and I turned to get in the car.  I was amused at the gift of the moment.  I was handed a gift card that was a gift for someone in my future.  She gave me a gift and I in return gave him one.  Isn't it beautiful how we are all connected.

On a side note; also in Barnes that day; I was coming around the corner to look at a book and when I turned to go back to the Kids area - there she was, my friend Sarah was kneeling looking at a book.  She had called me a few times earlier that week and I hadn't called her back yet.  Out of all the places to be and times to be there, we crossed right in front of eachother....

Living Food class

Tuesday was the 1st of 6 Living Food classes by Celeste at The Colorado Living Arts Center.  I'm so grateful for further education classes.  Even though I've heard Celeste say many times the phrase "Living Food,"  it didn't register the way it did on Tuesdays class before.  I have a somewhat ambitious Raw Food schedule that was yummy, but perhaps too much for my time and money schedule.  Hearing Celeste say Living Food and another woman confirm the expense of a Raw Food (Gourmet) something shifted in me.  I am seeking that healthful feeling both in my my body, spirit and mind and the simplicity of a diet is how I've achieved it in the past.  Before I had children I maintained a size 6 jean for years, and I find now that I'm a mom and responsible for their diet and feelings about food - I'm just all over the place.  I still take them to Dairy Queen for "something to do," then I kring when I think of what I'm teaching them, "let's eat some crap when we want to have a good time."  I guess I'm not totally convienced that those things aren't ok once in a while which is how often we do that - once in a while.  But I worry about the emotions behind the act.  I've witnessed first hand the clarity of mind and body and emotion when I eat Raw Food and I want that to be the foundation of my childrens diet.  I see that I've digressed; the term Living Food was powerful for my mind and heart on Tuesday.  Living Green Food.  Sprouted food, grown food, untouched food blended aiding in digestion.  I'm revamping my goals to simplicity.  I'm going to focus on less fluff and more minerals and enzymes.  Thank you Celeste for focusing and teaching the Living Foods art.  It's something sooo basic, yet it feels like another language when we are not raised around natural food.
My weeks Living food goals are:

Green juice in the morning (no more coffee)
Banana for snack
Energy soup for lunch
veggie for snack
Energy soup for dinner

*attempt at making Quinwa (sp?)

Love,
Kates

Sunday Till Now

This is why I wanted to create a blog.  Under the last 6 years of parenting I would normally put my writing off - yet another day which would turn into a week, maybe a month.  Today is just one of those thankfully rare days where nothing has gone on schedule, and as many of you know, schedule is everything to keep a mothers mind calm.  But since I've made this commitment to a blog, I've made a commitment to myself and you, so even though it's 9:30 the kids are still bop'in around (it's a long story) I'm going to sit still and connect to my journey.

Sunday food Preperation:  As I said before, I'm going to shop for fresh produce on Sat and Tue. and prepare on Sun and Wednesdays.  Yesterday was my first big day preperation.  I did take pictures for you, which I expect to upload tomorrow.  I did accomplish making RAW:

Pecan and Almond Milk
Walnut Pate
Almond with cholocate chip Ice Cream
Brownies
Marinara Sauce
Orange Cream Sauce
Tahini Dressing

It was a wonderful Sunday.  Having this intention of Thoughtful eating and concious preperation, I find it extending to other aspects of my life.  For the first time in a long time, we as a family just hung out Sunday morning.  No rushing here and there, just sitting, napping, talking and connecting as a little family.  Then when I felt inspired, I went into my kitchen to create.  It was around two hours.  I find that once I get used to doing something the time of course refines quite a bit. 

The diagnosis of the food:  I over sweetned the milk with a new recipe that sweetned with Maple syrup rather then dates and it seperates and has an different after taste, the Walnut Pate' actually turned out beautiful - full of flavor and moist, the ice cream though not 100% raw  turned out good.  I think I put too much in my ice cream maker because it didn't get totally creamed up so next time I won't put too much in the maker.  It also froze weird - hard like Ice.  The Brownies were increadible, moist and stayed together.  I finally remembered to Process the walnuts before I put the rest of the ingrediants in and I processed the dates next, then added the rest of the ingrediants - wonderful !  Even though I made 3x's the recipe for the Marinara sauce, it was gone before dinnertime.  I couldn't get my hands out of it as I was preparing it and my husband scarfed it down behind my back before I had a chance to notice.  I found the empty glass container this morning and I actually felt mad for a minute.  The anger quickly turned into laughter - this stuff is THAT GOOD - he would secretly have a Marinara party and endure hearing about my crinkled up nose when I discovered the evidance...Orange sauce was ok - I don't know if I love raw cashews yet - I could totally taste them even after the rest of the ingrediants were added and blended.  And finally - the Tahini dressing was amazing.  Another thing I had to find some carrot sticks and get into it before dinner - it was so smooth and creamy. 

One finaly note is that eating 100% raw yesterday set me up for a kind day.  I was more focused, inspired, patient and light feeling.  That feeling carried over to today which I started with a run on my treadmill at 6am, followed by my favorite Yoga class at 9am at the gym.  I was so patient with everyone and everything and my kids mimic me - so they were connected and calm and we had a ton of laughs and snuggles today.  Then, I did what I normally do so often;  the day did not follow schedule as my son actually fell asleep in my arms for a nap around 6pm (his bed time is 7'ish).  I mean I haven't got to hold a sleeping child for nearly 2 years so this was very dear.  After 2 hours of holding him I started to get hungry and my husband made a frozen California cheese pizza for the kids because it was getting late.  I asked my daughter to hand me a slice and there it was: afterwards I felt more irritable and sluggish.  I tried to go for a run after he woke up and I could feel that pizza sitting in my tummy even though it had been hours...More conviction that Raw Food is perfect for me. 

I will get some pictures of the food up tomorrow so you can see what these things ended up looking like.  Until then - Thank you everyone, new and old in my life for your support.  I value each and every one of you that has sent me a note of encouragement.  Love you, Kate

Saturday shoppin and soakin

Good night friends!  I'm doing something new that I have not had the clarity to do before: shop and soak the night before.  So I'll shop for fresh produce on Sat and Tuesdays and prepare staples on Sundays and Wednesdays.  The itenary for tomorrow is: Raw Brownies, Raw Ice cream, Raw almond and pecan milks, walnut Pate, raw marinera sauce, and raw cinnimon rolls.  I'll give you some recipies tomorrow and let you know how the day of preperation goes.  Good night my soaking almonds, pecans, walnuts and cashews (shhh, the cashews are for a sweet orange vanilla glaze that I'll put on some fruit - yumm). I think the next three days of eating Raw will look something like:

Fruit soup my daughter calls it:
Almond milk
Blueberries
Apple
Flax seeds

Energy soup:
Sunflower sprouts
Spinach
Carrot
Cucumber
Sundried tomatos
Garlic
Avacado - yumm

Spagetti:
Raw Marinara sauce
over?  (I could make some raw noodles out of zuchinni if I had a spiraler)

Raw brownie with raw Pecan Icecream

I can't wait for tomorrow!

As my grandma Goerger used to say: "night night..."

6 Weeks to Raw Food school

Raw Food:
Ok, so, it's only 6 more weeks until I take that exciting step to the Living Light Culinary Institute.  Since I registered I feel a sence of more breath, more life force has entered my body.  Something wonderful to look forward to perhaps, or a sence that I'm really going to get the hang of this health thing.  In terms of Raw Food I've become very skilled at making some basics: Nut milk, sprouting, Pate' making.  The other day I found the most amazing Pecan Milk recipe in my Raw Food Real World book.  My husband loves Pecan pie more then anything - so I made the raw Pecan milk for him and it was a great sucess!  If my blog will allow it - I'll try to make a video of Nut Milk making and show you the easy tricks that I learned from my friend and teacher Sherri Peale.  Also, my friend and Raw Food teacher Celeste is having a 6 week Raw Food series at her place Colorado Living Arts that I'm looking forward too.  I find that even though I know how to do many of the things that will be in her series, having local support and different teachers has given me many different ways of doing things.  Each class brings a new gift of ease and understanding.  Many people ask me "why Raw Food."  And it's simple, when I do 100% Raw Food I feel different, more calm, more in control, more alive and my skin literally glows and my nails get strong and long.  Also, the research on the health benefits are amazing.  Since my day job is that of a Medium, I talk to so many people that have either crossed over from cancer, are dealing with cancer or a family member witnessing a loved ones decent into cancer.  Food choices and lifestyle is a huge factor in why our bodies experience cancer.  I've actually met three women that had breast cancer and went to the Ann Wigmore Institute in Puorto Rico and CURED their cancer through wheatgrass, Energy Soup and other Raw Food therapys.  So as you can see, my children are very young and my desire to send them into their future with healthful, life affirming, spirit soaring kills is critical.  I know as good as anyone my age that breaking the food habbits of the past are sooo difficult as they are tied to everything.  Admittingly around year 2 of my Raw Food studies I was so egar to stop the connection of horrible feeling food for my family that I decided to do a personal fast on Christmas day.  As you can suspect, that was one of the saddest Christmas to date (other then the joy of my husband and babies).  I felt like I wanted to change but I didn't have the skills to create new memories in a healthful way.  So my trip to the Living Light is a huge deal for me, my children and the many blessing that I know are coming our way from this one decision. 
To our health and joyful spirits!  Love Kate