Resentful Self Care

Monday night as I drove to the Northern Colorado Writers Studio for my Ask a Medium event I broke out in laughter.  I was laughing at how resentful I can be when I need help.  I was raised by a grandmother of the depression that didn't ask for help - ever.  She did everything and she did it well.  She didn't have Chiropractic, she didn't get massages and she certainly didn't go to Energy Healers.  Here I was, driving to my event with Crystals filling my pockets.

After my son was born the right side of my body was in pain.  A nerve was pinched in my right shoulder and my back was out of alignment due to carrying my baby in a silly sling that stretched over one side of my body leaving the other side to shudder at attempts in balancing. "Go to a Network Chiropractor", friends urged. 

Mental conversation:

GUIDANCE: Go get some help to align your precious body.
MIND: That costs money...

GUIDANCE: It's ok, you have money.
MIND: That takes time and I have none

GUIDANCE: you have time, there is a husband in that house so use him
MIND: What if he doesn't do it as good as I do

GUIDANCE: they will survive as you care for your body and feel better
MIND: prove it......

October was my first Ask a Medium event.  Though the experience was amazing for me personally, I found on the drive home that I was exhausted and unable to know how I was feeling about anything.  With my in- laws in the door the next day it took me days to recover and realize that I needed help.  "You need Crystals," a voice urged.  "I don't know how to use Crystals," I replied.  Later, I opened an issue of Bella Sparks magazine and came upon Hands Of Spirit Crystal Healing.  I felt resentful that I needed yet another "thing" and person to help me do what I thought I should be able to do myself.  Saturday as I crawled upon Karen's healing table at Hands of Spirit I had a profound realization, I can't do energy work on my own body when it's my own heart that is carrying the pain.  Having Karen hold and move the wounded energy out of my body after the years that I have been processing it with my mind was an experience in love that I'll never forget.

We can resent that we need help and can't do it on our own, but we're not here alone.  We do need each other and it's ok.  The greatest feeling in the world is being good at something and offering it to others to experience.  It's why you're alive and getting to use your gift reaffirms your life.  So the next time you get funny guidance; "learn crystals, grow a garden, go to a psychic, learn how to connect with your Intuition, go to cooking school," remember that the guidance is there to support you.  Let the work horse live in the past and get present with the reality that self care is there to support and protect you from burning out of the things that you love the most.