"Somewhere along the way someone wrote on the Slate Of Who You Were. They created a Script, a character. They tell themselves over and over that you are and will forever be that character they created when they wrote that script," - Dr. Phill, Self Matters
These words rolled through my mind tonight as I went for my run. I read these word over and over ten years ago when I took this book out to the ocean to either heal or kill myself. I spent a week going over and over the exercises Dr. Phill put in that Self Matters book. It saved my life. For once I had less confusion and read about a theory called boundaries that I had never heard of.
I remember in my first Psychic Mediation group I couldn't catch my breath. I wanted to pass out when I realized I would have to say my name in front of the 10 strangers that were there. If I had to answer a question my heart would start to pound and my breath quickened. I didn't know that at the time, I had no voice. I couldn't even say my name.
One of the most surprising blessings about Recovering my Intuition was that I ultimately recovered my voice. Unfortunately the greatest shift in recovering my voice was last May when I realized that I had created a small skin cancer spot on my chest. Why do I say that I created this spot? In Lousis Hay's beautiful book "Heal Your Life," I found under skin conditions, "skin protects your individuality." Up until that bump appeared on my chest I was continuing to dummy-myself down for people, careful when speaking the truth thus not to offend anyone and terrified at anyone seeing my writings, my thoughts and words.
Post surgery I found myself among ashes of illusions. Illusions of friendships, illusions of safety, illusions of family, illusions in my work. For the first time in my life weak and vulnerable, I saw quite black and white what people's intentions were with me. With that fragile, stitched hole in my chest I was a primed bullshit detector and the one I had been bullshitting was myself.
I confronted every family member, confronted every relationship that I had been in denial about and came back to myself with a Mirror the size of New York. I looked at myself honestly for the first time in my life and realized that I'd been living a chicken shit life. Timid with my clients, timid with cruel family members, timid with my gifts and talent and still timid with my voice and work.
I began to write. I wrote a Memoir during the summer and when I get brave I started this blog. I was nauseated the first time I sent something public. Instead of anger and disapproval, I found people reach out to me in the most life affirming way I'd ever experienced. For once I was doing something that was true to myself, and people felt it.
Since those vulnerable days after surgery, I promised myself that I would say, write and do my life from a place of passion and honesty. I won't be bullied any longer into pretending that I am anything other then who I am and I will never shrink myself again in the name of approval.
Cancer showed me that life is short and that love may not come from who you think it should, but if you're brave, you may find that love all around you from people you never realized do....It also showed me that you very well may be doing what you were meant to be doing, it just might take some time to let go of patterns and destructive relationships that no longer serve you.
Six months later I speak infront of people in my Ask a Medium events, I lead Psychic Recovery Workshops, have done interveiw's and readings on the radio and have been follwed for months by a journalist student doing a piece on me and my work. For the last 6 months all I've been doing is using my voice and I've never felt so alive.....
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Why don't Psychic's win the Lottery?
I know I know - I get this question a lot which is one of the reason's that I created my "Ask a Medium" event. So that people can ask questions to better understand what we do as Psychics and to better understand how they personally are receiving guidance.
Yes our gift allows us to better communicate with people and beings on the other side. During my day I can stop and ask my guide "What....?" I'll wait and listen to what they say since I'm extremely CLAIRAUDIENT (hearing). The truth is however that me and my life's purpose is just like yours. If it's necessary to go through a hard time so that my spirit (I) get some valuable lessons - that's right where I'll be guided.
If I was to have won the lottery I suppose I wouldn't have gone through the years of doing jobs that I hated so that one day I would be pushed to the brink of my tolerance and finally accept that I was born to be a Psychic Medium.....That's it...I've had times in my life living in New York that I had a lot of money and what I know is that "it" did not bring me any more happiness or fulfillment. Yes life was manageable because I could support myself - but the job brought me loneliness and isolation. If most people won the lottery they would never go to work again - and what if the very thing that would make your spirit happy was your work....
If there comes a point in your Souls purpose for prosperity - you just might win that lottery. If however, your guides know that you will never accomplish what you've come here to do on a spirit level if you had too much money- you may not even be able to afford a ticket.... ;) It is in those hard times that our souls reach for a place of purpose and authenticity that it can't possible achieve when "All is well."
Our work as Psychics isn't about Predictions or cheap tricks - it's about helping you understand the guidance that is around you so that YOU understand...And just like you we may only get a piece of the picture because it's up to us to achieve those lessons before the "good" part of the vision comes through.
One time I was doing something totally based on the hopes of a huge financial return and when I asked my guide Josophine how it will go she actually rolled her eyes and snapped at me. Though it was shocking - I understood. The whole purpose of life on Earth in this three (going into 4 ) dimension is to experience, be who we came here to be and learn, not to sit on a beach with a golden towel and think about how much money we have.
Yes our gift allows us to better communicate with people and beings on the other side. During my day I can stop and ask my guide "What....?" I'll wait and listen to what they say since I'm extremely CLAIRAUDIENT (hearing). The truth is however that me and my life's purpose is just like yours. If it's necessary to go through a hard time so that my spirit (I) get some valuable lessons - that's right where I'll be guided.
If I was to have won the lottery I suppose I wouldn't have gone through the years of doing jobs that I hated so that one day I would be pushed to the brink of my tolerance and finally accept that I was born to be a Psychic Medium.....That's it...I've had times in my life living in New York that I had a lot of money and what I know is that "it" did not bring me any more happiness or fulfillment. Yes life was manageable because I could support myself - but the job brought me loneliness and isolation. If most people won the lottery they would never go to work again - and what if the very thing that would make your spirit happy was your work....
If there comes a point in your Souls purpose for prosperity - you just might win that lottery. If however, your guides know that you will never accomplish what you've come here to do on a spirit level if you had too much money- you may not even be able to afford a ticket.... ;) It is in those hard times that our souls reach for a place of purpose and authenticity that it can't possible achieve when "All is well."
Our work as Psychics isn't about Predictions or cheap tricks - it's about helping you understand the guidance that is around you so that YOU understand...And just like you we may only get a piece of the picture because it's up to us to achieve those lessons before the "good" part of the vision comes through.
One time I was doing something totally based on the hopes of a huge financial return and when I asked my guide Josophine how it will go she actually rolled her eyes and snapped at me. Though it was shocking - I understood. The whole purpose of life on Earth in this three (going into 4 ) dimension is to experience, be who we came here to be and learn, not to sit on a beach with a golden towel and think about how much money we have.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Resentful Self Care
Monday night as I drove to the Northern Colorado Writers Studio for my Ask a Medium event I broke out in laughter. I was laughing at how resentful I can be when I need help. I was raised by a grandmother of the depression that didn't ask for help - ever. She did everything and she did it well. She didn't have Chiropractic, she didn't get massages and she certainly didn't go to Energy Healers. Here I was, driving to my event with Crystals filling my pockets.
After my son was born the right side of my body was in pain. A nerve was pinched in my right shoulder and my back was out of alignment due to carrying my baby in a silly sling that stretched over one side of my body leaving the other side to shudder at attempts in balancing. "Go to a Network Chiropractor", friends urged.
Mental conversation:
GUIDANCE: Go get some help to align your precious body.
MIND: That costs money...
GUIDANCE: It's ok, you have money.
MIND: That takes time and I have none
GUIDANCE: you have time, there is a husband in that house so use him
MIND: What if he doesn't do it as good as I do
GUIDANCE: they will survive as you care for your body and feel better
MIND: prove it......
October was my first Ask a Medium event. Though the experience was amazing for me personally, I found on the drive home that I was exhausted and unable to know how I was feeling about anything. With my in- laws in the door the next day it took me days to recover and realize that I needed help. "You need Crystals," a voice urged. "I don't know how to use Crystals," I replied. Later, I opened an issue of Bella Sparks magazine and came upon Hands Of Spirit Crystal Healing. I felt resentful that I needed yet another "thing" and person to help me do what I thought I should be able to do myself. Saturday as I crawled upon Karen's healing table at Hands of Spirit I had a profound realization, I can't do energy work on my own body when it's my own heart that is carrying the pain. Having Karen hold and move the wounded energy out of my body after the years that I have been processing it with my mind was an experience in love that I'll never forget.
We can resent that we need help and can't do it on our own, but we're not here alone. We do need each other and it's ok. The greatest feeling in the world is being good at something and offering it to others to experience. It's why you're alive and getting to use your gift reaffirms your life. So the next time you get funny guidance; "learn crystals, grow a garden, go to a psychic, learn how to connect with your Intuition, go to cooking school," remember that the guidance is there to support you. Let the work horse live in the past and get present with the reality that self care is there to support and protect you from burning out of the things that you love the most.
After my son was born the right side of my body was in pain. A nerve was pinched in my right shoulder and my back was out of alignment due to carrying my baby in a silly sling that stretched over one side of my body leaving the other side to shudder at attempts in balancing. "Go to a Network Chiropractor", friends urged.
Mental conversation:
GUIDANCE: Go get some help to align your precious body.
MIND: That costs money...
GUIDANCE: It's ok, you have money.
MIND: That takes time and I have none
GUIDANCE: you have time, there is a husband in that house so use him
MIND: What if he doesn't do it as good as I do
GUIDANCE: they will survive as you care for your body and feel better
MIND: prove it......
October was my first Ask a Medium event. Though the experience was amazing for me personally, I found on the drive home that I was exhausted and unable to know how I was feeling about anything. With my in- laws in the door the next day it took me days to recover and realize that I needed help. "You need Crystals," a voice urged. "I don't know how to use Crystals," I replied. Later, I opened an issue of Bella Sparks magazine and came upon Hands Of Spirit Crystal Healing. I felt resentful that I needed yet another "thing" and person to help me do what I thought I should be able to do myself. Saturday as I crawled upon Karen's healing table at Hands of Spirit I had a profound realization, I can't do energy work on my own body when it's my own heart that is carrying the pain. Having Karen hold and move the wounded energy out of my body after the years that I have been processing it with my mind was an experience in love that I'll never forget.
We can resent that we need help and can't do it on our own, but we're not here alone. We do need each other and it's ok. The greatest feeling in the world is being good at something and offering it to others to experience. It's why you're alive and getting to use your gift reaffirms your life. So the next time you get funny guidance; "learn crystals, grow a garden, go to a psychic, learn how to connect with your Intuition, go to cooking school," remember that the guidance is there to support you. Let the work horse live in the past and get present with the reality that self care is there to support and protect you from burning out of the things that you love the most.
Friday, November 25, 2011
That's where I'll be
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
I hope you all had an amazing time and I hope you took the time to take in and enjoy all of the things you have to be Thankful for. In my line of work I have to take a moment everyday and open my eyes to my amazing life right here and now because, as many of you know, life changes all of the time. And it's our job to see the gratitude and gifts in even the most difficult circumstances.
ASK A MEDIUM: Be one of the 10 peopole that will be read by me this Monday 6:30-8:00 at the Northern Colorado Writers Studio. Please visit: northerncoloradowriters.com to Register.
INTERNET RADIO SHOW: I am privileged to be a guest on the the Sarina Baptista Show Dec. 1st at 10am. Please visit: abridgetohealing.com for more information.
PSYCHIC RECOVERY WORKSHOP: Please join me Dec. 4th from 1-4 for a workshop just on time for the holidays! Come experience HOW it is that YOU are intuitive and other fun things like ghost, angels, guides and past lives. Visit: www.katiecashman.com to register.
WOMEN, WINE AND FOOD: I will be a guest Psychic at a local event for women on Dec. 7th 7-10pm.
Thank you All for the love, encouragement and support through this amazing year. I look forward to seeing and meeting you at these special events that are closing out 2011. May next year be even sweater!
I hope you all had an amazing time and I hope you took the time to take in and enjoy all of the things you have to be Thankful for. In my line of work I have to take a moment everyday and open my eyes to my amazing life right here and now because, as many of you know, life changes all of the time. And it's our job to see the gratitude and gifts in even the most difficult circumstances.
ASK A MEDIUM: Be one of the 10 peopole that will be read by me this Monday 6:30-8:00 at the Northern Colorado Writers Studio. Please visit: northerncoloradowriters.com to Register.
INTERNET RADIO SHOW: I am privileged to be a guest on the the Sarina Baptista Show Dec. 1st at 10am. Please visit: abridgetohealing.com for more information.
PSYCHIC RECOVERY WORKSHOP: Please join me Dec. 4th from 1-4 for a workshop just on time for the holidays! Come experience HOW it is that YOU are intuitive and other fun things like ghost, angels, guides and past lives. Visit: www.katiecashman.com to register.
WOMEN, WINE AND FOOD: I will be a guest Psychic at a local event for women on Dec. 7th 7-10pm.
Thank you All for the love, encouragement and support through this amazing year. I look forward to seeing and meeting you at these special events that are closing out 2011. May next year be even sweater!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Are we?
Today I was reading 21 Lessons of Merlyn. A book that has traveled with me for the last 15 years. It's about the Druids, Celts, Ancients. As I got into pages 20 that familiar irritation over came me as the author recounted comparisons of males vs. females. Trust me, I spent the first 25 years of my life being a feminist. Being raised primarily by women will do that to you. But as the years go by and I no longer live in ignorance - yes I am a woman today, but I've lived on this planet more lives then I can count as a man. I have possibly more male energy in my cell memory then woman. I've been everything: a woman, man, old, young, black, white, asian, jewish, christian, buddhist, muslim...Sexism and racism seen under the view of reality of our spirits are pointless.
I am a mother, wife, sister, daughter in this experience and I am thankful because it all adds to what and who I'll be in the next.
If we remembered that we are all potentially everything - would we have anything to fight about? Would we at last put an end to illusions such as one sex is better then the other, or that one religion is better then another, or that one time on this planet is better then the time we live in now....? Could we ever fully let go and enjoy with honor the experience we have chosen to have in this life?
Passionately,
Kate
I am a mother, wife, sister, daughter in this experience and I am thankful because it all adds to what and who I'll be in the next.
If we remembered that we are all potentially everything - would we have anything to fight about? Would we at last put an end to illusions such as one sex is better then the other, or that one religion is better then another, or that one time on this planet is better then the time we live in now....? Could we ever fully let go and enjoy with honor the experience we have chosen to have in this life?
Passionately,
Kate
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
A good thing about Psychic Recovery
As the years live by since recovering my Intuition I find the most amazing thing about it is that I don't notice I'm using it. It no longer is an obsession to understand what, where, why and how. As my day goes by and things come up I simply quite my mind, ask, and listen for the answer. I no longer live with debilitating fear of everything, especially loss. It's my guidance and I'm the only one who can live it.
You also have the same guidance system. You receive it differently then I do - but you have it. The most precious thing you can give to your life and your families life is to understand how you receive guidance.
I will provide a Psychic Recovery workshop both in November and December. And next year I will commit to Meditation Recovery groups, Workshops and events in the promise to be there for you to awaken and understand the gift that is your Intuition.
You also have the same guidance system. You receive it differently then I do - but you have it. The most precious thing you can give to your life and your families life is to understand how you receive guidance.
I will provide a Psychic Recovery workshop both in November and December. And next year I will commit to Meditation Recovery groups, Workshops and events in the promise to be there for you to awaken and understand the gift that is your Intuition.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
I know, I know it's not 1950
There has been a huge theme in my work around marriage these days. On a Spirit level I need to address that the old format of the 1950's marriage is no longer applicable today.
Those of us on the planet today made an agreement to come in at the time - the age of Authenticity is how I experience it. The external places that we came to pretend to feel safe no longer keeps us safe. Broken families, broken marriages, broken religion for some people, job loss. We are living in a time so full of intuition that if you don't follow your higher self and get the lessons, the result is far from suddle. We are called to live in Authenticity once and for all.
For me this is good news. Coming from a broken home, created in me, a fear to even think of a family of my own. After years of healing I felt that I could marry and do it right. When I met Mr. Right I was just so grateful to have something of my own I took on the patterns of a 1950's wife; quit work, cleaned, cooked, laundry etc, and life appeared great.
However, as I quit being Katie in the name of being married, another symptom showed itself. When I quit my job to have our daughter I bought a $25 home espresso maker and my husband chastised me for doing so. I thought I was being amazing because till then I was spending $3.00 a day on my precious coffee. Then when our daughter was born, my marriage became strained and I saw sides of my husband that I didn't know existed. I convinced myself that it was normal stress of caring for a beautiful baby.
We then moved to New England after her birth. Though I kept up my 1950 wifely duties I had suspicion that my husband was looking for connection outside. I'm not going to go into the details, let's just say that in my marriage - when I stopped being grateful for just being married, and I began practicing living as Katie again - my marriage got better. And it couldn't be more true today - I am obsessed with being myself and if I'm unsure of what I truly want I'll stop and say, "What do I want to do or experience now." My husband and children support my life because they know that if I say it - I mean it. And when I mean it - I'm happy and that joy shines back on them.
The 1950's pattern of a healthy life just doesn't fit anymore. Husbands want to stay home and raise the kids, woman do want to work and bring home a paycheck. No one's interested in the Marter anymore. No one appreciates her sacrifice and resentment. No one really notices when you are being a Marter and not living the life that you want to life. And no one wants to be blamed for it anymore.
Marriage is more precious then ever because for the first time in recorded history perhaps - we are marrying and staying married because we truly want to be together. Isn't the truth far sweeter then the illusion of time?
Those of us on the planet today made an agreement to come in at the time - the age of Authenticity is how I experience it. The external places that we came to pretend to feel safe no longer keeps us safe. Broken families, broken marriages, broken religion for some people, job loss. We are living in a time so full of intuition that if you don't follow your higher self and get the lessons, the result is far from suddle. We are called to live in Authenticity once and for all.
For me this is good news. Coming from a broken home, created in me, a fear to even think of a family of my own. After years of healing I felt that I could marry and do it right. When I met Mr. Right I was just so grateful to have something of my own I took on the patterns of a 1950's wife; quit work, cleaned, cooked, laundry etc, and life appeared great.
However, as I quit being Katie in the name of being married, another symptom showed itself. When I quit my job to have our daughter I bought a $25 home espresso maker and my husband chastised me for doing so. I thought I was being amazing because till then I was spending $3.00 a day on my precious coffee. Then when our daughter was born, my marriage became strained and I saw sides of my husband that I didn't know existed. I convinced myself that it was normal stress of caring for a beautiful baby.
We then moved to New England after her birth. Though I kept up my 1950 wifely duties I had suspicion that my husband was looking for connection outside. I'm not going to go into the details, let's just say that in my marriage - when I stopped being grateful for just being married, and I began practicing living as Katie again - my marriage got better. And it couldn't be more true today - I am obsessed with being myself and if I'm unsure of what I truly want I'll stop and say, "What do I want to do or experience now." My husband and children support my life because they know that if I say it - I mean it. And when I mean it - I'm happy and that joy shines back on them.
The 1950's pattern of a healthy life just doesn't fit anymore. Husbands want to stay home and raise the kids, woman do want to work and bring home a paycheck. No one's interested in the Marter anymore. No one appreciates her sacrifice and resentment. No one really notices when you are being a Marter and not living the life that you want to life. And no one wants to be blamed for it anymore.
Marriage is more precious then ever because for the first time in recorded history perhaps - we are marrying and staying married because we truly want to be together. Isn't the truth far sweeter then the illusion of time?
Friday, October 21, 2011
Christmas heart
One of my favorite holiday's is Christmas. I love the lights, the music, the food, but especially the need and desire to connect with friends and family. I realize as the years go by that my work is much like the intention of the holidays - taking time to remember that we're all connected, that no matter what state the relationship is in - we love each other and that the illusion of death does not end our love or connection.
As we turn into the holiday season I urge you to stay connected and speak with your loved one that have crossed over. For fun ~ ask a specific person to send you a sign, watch and take note. If you are like me and have held onto a person or a past tradition that went away when your loved one died, be brave and think of how you will celebrate the season with your own style and create a new tradition. I know it's hard to let go of the past if it was sweet, but be grateful that you had it, and open your mind and your heart to the truth that it's still your time to shine. Be brave, shine and be joyous.
p.s. If you do not experience a sign from your loved one be patient, some spirits on the other side need practice manipulating the energy in this dimention. Have compassion for both them and yourself.
Love,
Katie
As we turn into the holiday season I urge you to stay connected and speak with your loved one that have crossed over. For fun ~ ask a specific person to send you a sign, watch and take note. If you are like me and have held onto a person or a past tradition that went away when your loved one died, be brave and think of how you will celebrate the season with your own style and create a new tradition. I know it's hard to let go of the past if it was sweet, but be grateful that you had it, and open your mind and your heart to the truth that it's still your time to shine. Be brave, shine and be joyous.
p.s. If you do not experience a sign from your loved one be patient, some spirits on the other side need practice manipulating the energy in this dimention. Have compassion for both them and yourself.
Love,
Katie
Monday, October 3, 2011
I Broke the Tim Burton Code
Ah~ha...I figured it out!
Like many of you I have adored the work of Tim Burton on a level that I have not experienced in another director. His work across the board moves me to the core. I often wondered if I wanted to be a director and that's why I like him. Should I draw even though I don't particularly enjoy it? Should I dress funky and watch old horror movies all the time? How can I be more like him? I love his fearlessness. I love that he makes movies "his way" and everyone knows it when they see his work. I love that he understand the things that I do: that not all things that "look" nice are, and those things that appear "odd" are often real and wonderful. I related to Jack the pumpkin king to a tee. I've lived my life mostly to do what others think I should. I've been attracted all my life to people that are free to express themselves and fill others lives by doing so. "How do they do that," I'd say. What the hell is the code.
Alas ~ I've discovered it.
From what I can see Tim was an only child and his parents weren't particularly tuned in to him. He was alone and lonely and if he came out of his room with his hair in a bush, no one was there to say, "go comb your hair." In other words - no one was there to tell him to do things their way.....His foundation was founded on "doing things on his own and his own way."
This weekend I was driving and I had the CD "Ask and it is Giving," by Jerry and Ester Hicks playing. One of the exercises was to visualize that you are a movie director and you get to decide how things will look, how people will act and where the scene will take place. It's an exercise in stretching your mind to think of what things would look like if "you" were in charge. And that was it - Tim does a movie and tells everyone who, where and what it will look like. In the end the movie looks like Tim.
For those of us that had someone telling us who we should be, what we should look like and where we should live - that practice is beyond difficult. But it is the key. As you know I've been obsessed with living authentically, finding out what I like and practicing living everyday "what do I WANT in this moment." Finally my life is more grand then I ever dreamed possible. Why - because the dreams I dreamed previous to a large degree were based on what someone dreamed for me and how I would fulfill their dreams for them...
Tim is special because he is one of the few that was free to be himself as a child. Those of us that put on our social masks first thing in the morning have a difficult time leaving it home in the morning. But practice, practice leaving that damn mask at home, step into your life in your full glory, and if you don't know what that is - practice. With every choice of the day practice asking yourself, "do I want this, and how would I do this, how would I wear this, how would I put this." It will take time, but one day your life will look like you maybe for the first time.
I love the analogy of being a director. Let's decided that our lives are the one movie we will make. Let's decide for ourselves what it will look like.
I've had to confront family members that say, "well if you love me you'll buy this car or do what I say.: As Byron Katie says in her book, "I need your love, Is that true," that's not love, it's approval.
Like many of you I have adored the work of Tim Burton on a level that I have not experienced in another director. His work across the board moves me to the core. I often wondered if I wanted to be a director and that's why I like him. Should I draw even though I don't particularly enjoy it? Should I dress funky and watch old horror movies all the time? How can I be more like him? I love his fearlessness. I love that he makes movies "his way" and everyone knows it when they see his work. I love that he understand the things that I do: that not all things that "look" nice are, and those things that appear "odd" are often real and wonderful. I related to Jack the pumpkin king to a tee. I've lived my life mostly to do what others think I should. I've been attracted all my life to people that are free to express themselves and fill others lives by doing so. "How do they do that," I'd say. What the hell is the code.
Alas ~ I've discovered it.
From what I can see Tim was an only child and his parents weren't particularly tuned in to him. He was alone and lonely and if he came out of his room with his hair in a bush, no one was there to say, "go comb your hair." In other words - no one was there to tell him to do things their way.....His foundation was founded on "doing things on his own and his own way."
This weekend I was driving and I had the CD "Ask and it is Giving," by Jerry and Ester Hicks playing. One of the exercises was to visualize that you are a movie director and you get to decide how things will look, how people will act and where the scene will take place. It's an exercise in stretching your mind to think of what things would look like if "you" were in charge. And that was it - Tim does a movie and tells everyone who, where and what it will look like. In the end the movie looks like Tim.
For those of us that had someone telling us who we should be, what we should look like and where we should live - that practice is beyond difficult. But it is the key. As you know I've been obsessed with living authentically, finding out what I like and practicing living everyday "what do I WANT in this moment." Finally my life is more grand then I ever dreamed possible. Why - because the dreams I dreamed previous to a large degree were based on what someone dreamed for me and how I would fulfill their dreams for them...
Tim is special because he is one of the few that was free to be himself as a child. Those of us that put on our social masks first thing in the morning have a difficult time leaving it home in the morning. But practice, practice leaving that damn mask at home, step into your life in your full glory, and if you don't know what that is - practice. With every choice of the day practice asking yourself, "do I want this, and how would I do this, how would I wear this, how would I put this." It will take time, but one day your life will look like you maybe for the first time.
I love the analogy of being a director. Let's decided that our lives are the one movie we will make. Let's decide for ourselves what it will look like.
I've had to confront family members that say, "well if you love me you'll buy this car or do what I say.: As Byron Katie says in her book, "I need your love, Is that true," that's not love, it's approval.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Psychic Child: From Fear to Freedom
Boy do I know the fears of seeing a ghost or being paralyzed by a "negative" situation. I saw ghosts, talked with my passed Grandpa Goerger and knew what was true without having the age of wisdom to understand. By far the worst thing I dealt with when I was a little girl were cougars. Around the age of 6 I saw cougars (They looked like Panthers because they were Big Black cats that only appeared in the dark) that would swarm my bed as I slept and follow me as I was terrified enough to run to my parents room in the middle of the night. The only thing my mom and dad could say was, "oh honey, it's your imagination. Don't worry." But I knew better, they were real and I was terrified. With both of my parents not seeing them only made it scarier to me. 20 years later I learned that they were there protecting me and helping me come into my own power. In the other room at age 6 were my parents discussing their inevitable divorce.
Fast forward 25 years later I am at my son's three year check up. The Doctor says, "At this age they start to talk about seeing monsters and Ghosts. Just put some G.I Joe's in the window and they'll be ok." I smirked and felt irritated at the lack information she has. Putting G.I Joe's around a child that sees ghosts and other things is as affective as putting that G.I Joe in front of a speaker with music coming out and expecting the music to stop. Ghost, spirits and animals are a real thing. Not all people see them but that doesn't mean they are not there. Just as we cannot see (thank God) the hundreds of radio, TV, cell phone signals that surround us in every moment. If we have the proper equipment i.e. stereo, cell phone, TV, we can "tune in" to that signal and receive the information. That is what Psychic Children are doing. They have trained their soul through many life times of work to be able to "Tune Into" the natural dimensions that surround us. Remember - it's natural and since it's natural - you/they have nothing to fear.
I have many clients worried for their Psychic Children and trust me, with more information and better tools and knowledge in your hands, there is NOTHING to fear. I will get a few You Tube video's up on my website with tools that have changed my life as a Psychic Medium. I didn't become fearless until I was 30 years old, but I assure you with a few steps you can relieve any anxiety around spirit.
This is so simple it seems like a cliche. And though I rolled my eyes at the first few personal attempts - it works.
The #1 thing you can do is ask the Angels to "surround and protect you, your children and your home."
#2 Set boundaries within your home and property declaring that "only guides and angles are allowed to be IN your home at all times."
#3 Ask that any and all harmful energies or beings be taken outside immediately.
#4 Do it daily - why not. I do it every single night before bed and I can communicate with my Angles and Guides, but I still do it every single night because we accumulate energies throughout the day. Also, it helps you get comfortable setting healthy boundaries in your life and stay connected to these beautiful beings that are with you, protecting you.
To all of those non- Medium parents out there, please do these steps for your children. They (and you) deserve to have peace while in their own homes and it's not their job's to help out every Tom, Dick and Harry spirit that wants to talk to them...
Remember, there is nothing to fear. I promise....
Fast forward 25 years later I am at my son's three year check up. The Doctor says, "At this age they start to talk about seeing monsters and Ghosts. Just put some G.I Joe's in the window and they'll be ok." I smirked and felt irritated at the lack information she has. Putting G.I Joe's around a child that sees ghosts and other things is as affective as putting that G.I Joe in front of a speaker with music coming out and expecting the music to stop. Ghost, spirits and animals are a real thing. Not all people see them but that doesn't mean they are not there. Just as we cannot see (thank God) the hundreds of radio, TV, cell phone signals that surround us in every moment. If we have the proper equipment i.e. stereo, cell phone, TV, we can "tune in" to that signal and receive the information. That is what Psychic Children are doing. They have trained their soul through many life times of work to be able to "Tune Into" the natural dimensions that surround us. Remember - it's natural and since it's natural - you/they have nothing to fear.
I have many clients worried for their Psychic Children and trust me, with more information and better tools and knowledge in your hands, there is NOTHING to fear. I will get a few You Tube video's up on my website with tools that have changed my life as a Psychic Medium. I didn't become fearless until I was 30 years old, but I assure you with a few steps you can relieve any anxiety around spirit.
This is so simple it seems like a cliche. And though I rolled my eyes at the first few personal attempts - it works.
The #1 thing you can do is ask the Angels to "surround and protect you, your children and your home."
#2 Set boundaries within your home and property declaring that "only guides and angles are allowed to be IN your home at all times."
#3 Ask that any and all harmful energies or beings be taken outside immediately.
#4 Do it daily - why not. I do it every single night before bed and I can communicate with my Angles and Guides, but I still do it every single night because we accumulate energies throughout the day. Also, it helps you get comfortable setting healthy boundaries in your life and stay connected to these beautiful beings that are with you, protecting you.
To all of those non- Medium parents out there, please do these steps for your children. They (and you) deserve to have peace while in their own homes and it's not their job's to help out every Tom, Dick and Harry spirit that wants to talk to them...
Remember, there is nothing to fear. I promise....
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
"I've traveled oceans of time to find you" ~ Frances Ford Coppela's Dracula
"I've traveled Oceans of time to find you" ~ Dracula
I love this line. This line has stuck with me since I first heard it nearly 20 years ago. I loved how he remembers his true love no matter the years and the horrors his life has lived through. I love that in a single moment of seeing her he remembers the tenderness of his one love and everything fades to the back ground. Only she exists.
As the years go by and my interests change, I see this line as a symbol of reality. The reality that on our soul level, we remember. I'm reminded of it when I see three people that I met over 10 years ago still to this day know me more then my own family. I'm reminded of it when I was in New York 10 years ago for three days and three separate families took me in as their own and to this day are still close to me. I'm reminded of it when a culture or an accent fills my body with the comfort of a warm cookie.
It explains why when I was a little girl, I thought I was a 10 year old Russian girl with long straight brown hair. It explains why so people may find you repulsive while you shower them with love. They remember.
Years ago, I joined a gym. The first day of my arrival a man came around me and my body became alive with energy. It didn't matter what time I arrived at the gym, morning or evening, he would be walking in and out at the very same time. One day, as a joke, I said to him as we hit the door at the same time and noticed that we were parked next to each other, "I'll see you tomorrow." "Scary isn't it," he replied. Months of this wore on me with confusion. One day while in meditation I asked, "who is this guy and why are we so connected?" "His name is Robert. You've had many past lives together," my guides replied. I thought maybe that was his name in a former life, noted it in my journal and carried on. The next day at the gym I was standing buy the water fountain when a guy yelled out to THAT GUY, "Hey Robert!" I was in shock, his name in this life was the very name my guides gave me ~ Robert. I now understood the connection which I found fascinating, but as the months of connecting with him on the road as I drove, at the gym and discovered that he lived in my neighborhood, it became a little much for me. A colleague told me to "cut the cords" between us and ask that all past life energy and patterns be healed and returned. With some thought I did just that and a week later I knew he had left the gym entirely. It was confirmed a few days later by a friend.
You never know when you'll meet someone in your life now that you've loved many times before or whom you've had relationships with that are more complex, but I assure you each and everyone of us has this experience. Seeing someone that there is so much energy between the two of you you think you'll explode. It doesn't mean you should leave your husband or wife, it means that the soul remembers, and for that, it should be respected. And if it's too much and you're brave, ask your guides to cut the cords and heal all energies between the two of you so that life can go on.....
I love this line. This line has stuck with me since I first heard it nearly 20 years ago. I loved how he remembers his true love no matter the years and the horrors his life has lived through. I love that in a single moment of seeing her he remembers the tenderness of his one love and everything fades to the back ground. Only she exists.
As the years go by and my interests change, I see this line as a symbol of reality. The reality that on our soul level, we remember. I'm reminded of it when I see three people that I met over 10 years ago still to this day know me more then my own family. I'm reminded of it when I was in New York 10 years ago for three days and three separate families took me in as their own and to this day are still close to me. I'm reminded of it when a culture or an accent fills my body with the comfort of a warm cookie.
It explains why when I was a little girl, I thought I was a 10 year old Russian girl with long straight brown hair. It explains why so people may find you repulsive while you shower them with love. They remember.
Years ago, I joined a gym. The first day of my arrival a man came around me and my body became alive with energy. It didn't matter what time I arrived at the gym, morning or evening, he would be walking in and out at the very same time. One day, as a joke, I said to him as we hit the door at the same time and noticed that we were parked next to each other, "I'll see you tomorrow." "Scary isn't it," he replied. Months of this wore on me with confusion. One day while in meditation I asked, "who is this guy and why are we so connected?" "His name is Robert. You've had many past lives together," my guides replied. I thought maybe that was his name in a former life, noted it in my journal and carried on. The next day at the gym I was standing buy the water fountain when a guy yelled out to THAT GUY, "Hey Robert!" I was in shock, his name in this life was the very name my guides gave me ~ Robert. I now understood the connection which I found fascinating, but as the months of connecting with him on the road as I drove, at the gym and discovered that he lived in my neighborhood, it became a little much for me. A colleague told me to "cut the cords" between us and ask that all past life energy and patterns be healed and returned. With some thought I did just that and a week later I knew he had left the gym entirely. It was confirmed a few days later by a friend.
You never know when you'll meet someone in your life now that you've loved many times before or whom you've had relationships with that are more complex, but I assure you each and everyone of us has this experience. Seeing someone that there is so much energy between the two of you you think you'll explode. It doesn't mean you should leave your husband or wife, it means that the soul remembers, and for that, it should be respected. And if it's too much and you're brave, ask your guides to cut the cords and heal all energies between the two of you so that life can go on.....
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Nearing September
September,
As the gentle shift in air grows daily, I'm reminded of how much I love September. I love it so much that when I reflect on major changes, for the better in my life, most of them happened in September. September is when I joined my first Real Estate office shortly after high school. September is when I got my first apartment. September is when I moved to New York City 12 years ago and met people and friendships that I had dreamed of. September is when our family moved from the East Coast to Colorado and September is when I'll be headed back to New York to pursue another dream of mine.
I wonder if each of us has a time of year that inspires us? My sister made major changes in her life around Christmas: Got married around Christmas, bought her first house around Christmas and her second house if I remember correctly.
I can't wait to head back in doors for warmth, reflection, snuggling, blankets, writing, reading, warm food and drink and an excuse to be still and listen to what my dreams and heart are beating for.
As the gentle shift in air grows daily, I'm reminded of how much I love September. I love it so much that when I reflect on major changes, for the better in my life, most of them happened in September. September is when I joined my first Real Estate office shortly after high school. September is when I got my first apartment. September is when I moved to New York City 12 years ago and met people and friendships that I had dreamed of. September is when our family moved from the East Coast to Colorado and September is when I'll be headed back to New York to pursue another dream of mine.
I wonder if each of us has a time of year that inspires us? My sister made major changes in her life around Christmas: Got married around Christmas, bought her first house around Christmas and her second house if I remember correctly.
I can't wait to head back in doors for warmth, reflection, snuggling, blankets, writing, reading, warm food and drink and an excuse to be still and listen to what my dreams and heart are beating for.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Go with your gut
Medium:
When I first joined a Meditation/Intuitive development group I was terrified. "What if I'm not. What if I don't do a good job. What if I can't do it on command." I told our host and mentor Debra that I would just quietly watch during my first attendance. As I sat among 15 people I didn't think that I belonged there. I sat next to a dark haired woman named Sarina. She was friendly and spoke to me as we were preparing to begin. The time came for us to break into groups and "read" each other. The only thing I wanted to break into was a sweat. There were four of us including Sarina. I felt calm in her presence. Although I told myself that I would not participate only observe, I found that I couldn't keep my mouth shut. It was my first stranger validation. I couldn't stop myself. I was telling people what order of siblings they were and what their relationships were like with their loved ones. Sarina kept encouraging me and I kept reading and talking. I left high as a kite that night. It was my first intentional personal validation of my Psychic abilities.
As the months went by I felt a deep connection to Sarina. My mind and heart were blown when she did not attend our group for reasons that weren't my business. I stayed connected to her through coffee's and lunches. Though I was encouraged to befriend different woman in the group, I stayed close to Sarnia.
Weeks ago the Bella Sparks magazine was having it's annual Kristy's Big Night out fundraiser. It's in honor of the loss of Donna and Bob's beloved daughter Kristy that crossed over due to a car accident. The proceeds go to women in need. Sarina asked if I could help out and donate my time "reading" for the attendees. I said "no." The thought of being among a ton of people in line looking at me scared me to death. Sarina in her direct but gentle way asked again, "it's for a great cause and you'll have fun," she persisted. "Ok, I'll do it," I said amused at her ability to say the right thing to motivate me.
I snuck into the Hilton Hotel that warm Friday night. I asked for our colleague Bobby so she could tell me where to sit and how it all worked. Sarina marched up to me and told me to sit with her and share the table. I sat down and a line formed. I felt alive and fulfilled as I sat with each client. The information was not crystal clear as it can be when I'm alone with someone. But the beautiful spirits that sat before me were patient and smiled lovingly. 10:30pm rolled around and Sarina, my hero again, told the line waiting to see me that due to the time, I would not be taking another client. People gave me the warmest smile as they took my business card and scattered. I was humbled. Humbled at the level of love that I felt from everyone that attended and humbled at the joy I feel doing the thing I love. And again, I would not have had the experience at all if it wasn't for my buddy - Sarina.
No matter what happens to reationships around you, if you love someone just because you do, honor it. You never know the amazing places it will take you.
When I first joined a Meditation/Intuitive development group I was terrified. "What if I'm not. What if I don't do a good job. What if I can't do it on command." I told our host and mentor Debra that I would just quietly watch during my first attendance. As I sat among 15 people I didn't think that I belonged there. I sat next to a dark haired woman named Sarina. She was friendly and spoke to me as we were preparing to begin. The time came for us to break into groups and "read" each other. The only thing I wanted to break into was a sweat. There were four of us including Sarina. I felt calm in her presence. Although I told myself that I would not participate only observe, I found that I couldn't keep my mouth shut. It was my first stranger validation. I couldn't stop myself. I was telling people what order of siblings they were and what their relationships were like with their loved ones. Sarina kept encouraging me and I kept reading and talking. I left high as a kite that night. It was my first intentional personal validation of my Psychic abilities.
As the months went by I felt a deep connection to Sarina. My mind and heart were blown when she did not attend our group for reasons that weren't my business. I stayed connected to her through coffee's and lunches. Though I was encouraged to befriend different woman in the group, I stayed close to Sarnia.
Weeks ago the Bella Sparks magazine was having it's annual Kristy's Big Night out fundraiser. It's in honor of the loss of Donna and Bob's beloved daughter Kristy that crossed over due to a car accident. The proceeds go to women in need. Sarina asked if I could help out and donate my time "reading" for the attendees. I said "no." The thought of being among a ton of people in line looking at me scared me to death. Sarina in her direct but gentle way asked again, "it's for a great cause and you'll have fun," she persisted. "Ok, I'll do it," I said amused at her ability to say the right thing to motivate me.
I snuck into the Hilton Hotel that warm Friday night. I asked for our colleague Bobby so she could tell me where to sit and how it all worked. Sarina marched up to me and told me to sit with her and share the table. I sat down and a line formed. I felt alive and fulfilled as I sat with each client. The information was not crystal clear as it can be when I'm alone with someone. But the beautiful spirits that sat before me were patient and smiled lovingly. 10:30pm rolled around and Sarina, my hero again, told the line waiting to see me that due to the time, I would not be taking another client. People gave me the warmest smile as they took my business card and scattered. I was humbled. Humbled at the level of love that I felt from everyone that attended and humbled at the joy I feel doing the thing I love. And again, I would not have had the experience at all if it wasn't for my buddy - Sarina.
No matter what happens to reationships around you, if you love someone just because you do, honor it. You never know the amazing places it will take you.
Monday, August 1, 2011
X,Y,Z and other things
After three years of figuring out what sort of physical home suites me (i.e. lifting, running, light weights, heavy weights) I believe I'm on to something. When I was single I starved and ran. I did toning and a 3lb weight video daily. For years I maintained 130 lbs. When I met my husband we bonded over meals out as most new couples do. After I had my daughter I got back to eating less and running more and was able to lose most of my baby weight. As we moved to New England I realized that I couldn't starve and carry my baby every where. I was used to coming close to passing out in daily life, and it wasn't ok to be in that state with a baby in my care.
I began the never ending journey of studying nutrition and various diets. It took years of reflection to accept that I was not fed growing up. There may have been cereal in the morning and if my mom had spare change in her purse that would have been spent on a small pack of m&m's. I don't have any memory of dinners at the table unless it was a special occasion. If I was at my grandmother's all meals would be laid before me and I would gobble them up. Even the frozen brown bread and dry milk. The lack of appreciation and gratitude for good food in my early years created an eating disorder in me that I'm still coming to terms with. I spent many years eating a bowl of cereal three times a day. I was terribly thin and the memory's around that time was that everyone told me how beautiful I looked. Since I've had my second child I realize the reason I'm refusing to get lower then my size 10's is because when I was in my size 6 and 8 pants I was so unhappy. I was starved both body and mind. My spirit was in deep pain and lonely. Now that I have everything I've ever wanted, I have to push my mind and heart to create a new experience around being small and healthy. I can get into my size 6 pants, but I will have to redefine what that feels and looks like.
My raw food passion helps and keeps me healthy. I started lifting heavy weights three years ago because my husband told me I should. Though I love the strength, I hate the bulk. I bought P90X and quit the gym in May. I made good weight loss gains with the P90X program but I was terrified to use heavy weights or bands for fear that I would build more muscle and the eating program is just like a body building plan: milk and meat. Finally, the answer to my hopes appeared. I came across the Tracy Anderson program and ordered it last week. So far the dance cardio is fun and the muscle structure video hurts like hell. But it's designed to thin out and tighten the body. The eating program is very Raw Foodish in that the first week you use raw food and blend it or juice it. It's day four on the 90 day program for me and I feel sore and irritated. The irritation shows me how I've used food or coffee to numb my irritation that I feel in other area's of my life. I am fully participating in this program like I've never done before. I've taken the pictures, I've got on the scale and I have the courage to look at my feelings when they come up no matter how inconvenient.
I'm also staying more committed to the things that bring me joy out side of being a mommy. I've been writing and taking vocal coaching. I joined the Colorado Writers Association am taking a four week writing class. Steven Kings "On Writing" book is our guide and it's been fulfilling to being among other writers. Their stories and opinions fill my spirit and when I leave them I feel my tank has been filled. In my singing field I began vocal coaching from an amazing teacher named Cynthia. She is like no one I've met before and in three sessions I've noticed a huge difference in my technique.
I began the never ending journey of studying nutrition and various diets. It took years of reflection to accept that I was not fed growing up. There may have been cereal in the morning and if my mom had spare change in her purse that would have been spent on a small pack of m&m's. I don't have any memory of dinners at the table unless it was a special occasion. If I was at my grandmother's all meals would be laid before me and I would gobble them up. Even the frozen brown bread and dry milk. The lack of appreciation and gratitude for good food in my early years created an eating disorder in me that I'm still coming to terms with. I spent many years eating a bowl of cereal three times a day. I was terribly thin and the memory's around that time was that everyone told me how beautiful I looked. Since I've had my second child I realize the reason I'm refusing to get lower then my size 10's is because when I was in my size 6 and 8 pants I was so unhappy. I was starved both body and mind. My spirit was in deep pain and lonely. Now that I have everything I've ever wanted, I have to push my mind and heart to create a new experience around being small and healthy. I can get into my size 6 pants, but I will have to redefine what that feels and looks like.
My raw food passion helps and keeps me healthy. I started lifting heavy weights three years ago because my husband told me I should. Though I love the strength, I hate the bulk. I bought P90X and quit the gym in May. I made good weight loss gains with the P90X program but I was terrified to use heavy weights or bands for fear that I would build more muscle and the eating program is just like a body building plan: milk and meat. Finally, the answer to my hopes appeared. I came across the Tracy Anderson program and ordered it last week. So far the dance cardio is fun and the muscle structure video hurts like hell. But it's designed to thin out and tighten the body. The eating program is very Raw Foodish in that the first week you use raw food and blend it or juice it. It's day four on the 90 day program for me and I feel sore and irritated. The irritation shows me how I've used food or coffee to numb my irritation that I feel in other area's of my life. I am fully participating in this program like I've never done before. I've taken the pictures, I've got on the scale and I have the courage to look at my feelings when they come up no matter how inconvenient.
I'm also staying more committed to the things that bring me joy out side of being a mommy. I've been writing and taking vocal coaching. I joined the Colorado Writers Association am taking a four week writing class. Steven Kings "On Writing" book is our guide and it's been fulfilling to being among other writers. Their stories and opinions fill my spirit and when I leave them I feel my tank has been filled. In my singing field I began vocal coaching from an amazing teacher named Cynthia. She is like no one I've met before and in three sessions I've noticed a huge difference in my technique.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Mozart or Medium
To hear someone say "our work as Psychics is of spirit so we should give it away," is like nails on chalk board to me. Here's the deal; it doesn't take a belief in reincarnation to make it real, it is. Everyone on this planet has a natural gift whether it's cooking incredible meals, playing a piano, parenting, stalk-marketing or being intuitive. These are all gifts that we each as humans can practice, but what we refer to as a "gift" is the result as our propensity as souls to be drawn to and practice a certain area of life. If you've come into this dimension time and time again and played the piano, you may be that 4 year old Mozart. He practiced over life times to be the 4 year old playing and writing concertos. The very act of his playing was a spiritual experience not only for him, but to his listeners as well. The music in his mind could obsess him, even drive him mad from what I've read. That was my result as a psychic child. I spoke to my passed grandfather, I saw cougars swarming my bed as I tried to sleep. I could tell a lie a mile away. It was my spirits desire to stay connected to our true natures and practice over life times to bring it into this dimension. We are not "special" in that we aren't the chosen ones anymore then Mozart was a chosen one. But we are "special" because our love of Spirit, the other side, Angles, Guidance, communication and truth are what thrill us completely just as a performer performing, or a chef cooking thrill them. I once heard Joan Rivers tell Larry King that she called a local Psychic to come to her house and get the ghost out. She said the Psychic was lajet because she was free. Now Joan Rivers has a energeticly clean and safe house thanks to that psychic's time and talent. And Joan didn't pay her squat. Joan Rivers get's paid millions of dollars to be "funny." I realized while witnessing that conversation that if we do not value our gifts as equally as chefs, musician, teachers, how is the world ever going to value it. As Sylvia Browne once said, "we may all want to play the piano, but not all of us are destined for the stage." I love this quote because it's true. I try so hard to like to cook, but I don't. I don't try at all to be intuitive and I am. It's part of life just as eating is. It's wonderful for each of us to share and teach our multi-lifetime gifts and remember - what ever your gift is it's of value... |
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sunday evening
It's Sunday evening. The kids are in the pool with dad. The sun is out and the weather is hot! I don't know if it's because it's Summertime or if it's the smell of Russian Olive trees in the air but my mind and heart keep going back to Montana. When I was home last I was overcome by the feeling of freedom that I only feel in Montana. Maybe it's because of the wide openness of the land. Maybe it's because time seems to stand still there. Or maybe it's because the pressure to look and be perfect do not hold the same energy as they do every where else that I've lived.
When I was 20 and moving to New York City, my grandpa Mills who was original to Florida and stationed in Montana with the Air Force said to me, "everyone comes back to Montana Katie." I probably rolled my eyes at what I thought to be a ridiculous comment. Twelve years and four states later his words fill my soul as I hear my heart say, "how do I get back to Montana." We have a happy, lovely, beautiful life where we are but when I think about things, people and places that make me truly happy ~ I always see Montana. I wonder if these are the feelings of everyone that grew up in a magical place. Do they some how find contentment where they end up and life goes on. Though I've tried to be content, I'm still haunted by the wind and the smell and the energy of Montana.
I've been through a tremendous "shedding and reveling" stage in my life. Having a drop of cancer on my body made me wake up to the patterns and relationships that were cancerous. Because of these relationships, some even my entire life, I've never allowed myself to ask, "what do I want in life?" Even while in New York and Seattle, I didn't take opportunities that could have been good for me because they wouldn't allow me to get home for the Holidays or when I was "needed." I even left a blessed, guided and filled life in New York because another person lead on that "they couldn't live without me." When I left New York for them they went back to the same abusive ways and took me for granted. I was young and didn't know any better. Now that I'm in my 30's, I'm aware that every relationship I support carries an energy. And if that relationship takes energy away from me and tries to manipulate me as well, the cost is too high and I have things in my life today that need and deserve my energy. I find myself asking "what do I want" all day long. It's like meeting myself again and again: do I want that because it's cheap, non-fat, will everyone else like it, will my husband think we can afford it?
In the last few months I've painted my room a funny dark blue, bought new bedding and curtains and purchased the most lovely lamps imaginable. They are zebra print with black antique looking bases and long black feathers as accents. My daughter squeals with excitement when she comes into my room, "mom your lamps are so funky!" They are and so am I ~ I've just been too asleep (seeking approval) to remember!
I can't wait to express myself with my new found memory that I can. Isn't that what we're all here for ~ expression. Whether you're funky, normal, odd or silly - I hope you know it....!
When I was 20 and moving to New York City, my grandpa Mills who was original to Florida and stationed in Montana with the Air Force said to me, "everyone comes back to Montana Katie." I probably rolled my eyes at what I thought to be a ridiculous comment. Twelve years and four states later his words fill my soul as I hear my heart say, "how do I get back to Montana." We have a happy, lovely, beautiful life where we are but when I think about things, people and places that make me truly happy ~ I always see Montana. I wonder if these are the feelings of everyone that grew up in a magical place. Do they some how find contentment where they end up and life goes on. Though I've tried to be content, I'm still haunted by the wind and the smell and the energy of Montana.
I've been through a tremendous "shedding and reveling" stage in my life. Having a drop of cancer on my body made me wake up to the patterns and relationships that were cancerous. Because of these relationships, some even my entire life, I've never allowed myself to ask, "what do I want in life?" Even while in New York and Seattle, I didn't take opportunities that could have been good for me because they wouldn't allow me to get home for the Holidays or when I was "needed." I even left a blessed, guided and filled life in New York because another person lead on that "they couldn't live without me." When I left New York for them they went back to the same abusive ways and took me for granted. I was young and didn't know any better. Now that I'm in my 30's, I'm aware that every relationship I support carries an energy. And if that relationship takes energy away from me and tries to manipulate me as well, the cost is too high and I have things in my life today that need and deserve my energy. I find myself asking "what do I want" all day long. It's like meeting myself again and again: do I want that because it's cheap, non-fat, will everyone else like it, will my husband think we can afford it?
In the last few months I've painted my room a funny dark blue, bought new bedding and curtains and purchased the most lovely lamps imaginable. They are zebra print with black antique looking bases and long black feathers as accents. My daughter squeals with excitement when she comes into my room, "mom your lamps are so funky!" They are and so am I ~ I've just been too asleep (seeking approval) to remember!
I can't wait to express myself with my new found memory that I can. Isn't that what we're all here for ~ expression. Whether you're funky, normal, odd or silly - I hope you know it....!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Hair and Care
Motherhood
I've pushed through a huge pattern this month. Three month's after my daughter was born (she's 6 now) my husbands job moved us to New England. Without realizing it we became the most over protected parents on the planet. We even bought a $3,000 home gym including something that resembles a Smith machine, weight stack and a good treadmill. We did this because she was so precious to us - we didn't trust a Gym daycare. Basically for those two years my daughter was by my side 100% of the time. In fact, she didn't even really need to talk because I understood her every need and other then two or three visits from family - we didn't engage with anyone else other then the daily nosy neighbors. Four years ago we moved here and it was a very slow journey in finally joining a gym ( just to get out of the house) and getting my girl into Pre School when she was four. It was only two years ago that I let a friend watch my kids while my husband and I went on a date. Our first date in four years and two kids later was weird. I didn't know how to talk to him and I was afraid that we'd lost the magic that was there before we had kids, but months later on our second date there was a lightening of the spirit and I loved having that alone time with him. And I could see how important these dates were.
The major push into reality was about a month ago my husband had to catch an early flight and he'd already left for the airport an hour away. I took the kids out to the car for my girls last three days of school and with no earlier indication - the car didn't start.. Dead. I started crying realizing that I was going to be alone with two kids, no car and a few days of school left. I called my husband whom yelled, "what am I supposed to do about it - I'm going to miss my flight!" He came home and we threw the kids in the truck and got our girl off to school. It took my husband missing his plane for work for me to realize that I cannot do it on my own. Six months earlier I'd ran into a woman that I met when I moved here. I knew she was an over protected mother, a good mother. In our brief conversation she mentioned a drop off kids place in town that was "Incredible!" Last week when my hip went out I scheduled a quick chiropractic session. I'd normally drag my kids with me, be stressed out that they would be too loud, whine too much. That morning I thought, "no, it's better for me and it's better for the kids if I take this opportunity to reach out for help". I took them to the drop off care and when I returned, they were so happy and had a great time. And I was calm and relaxed - because I had put my Wonder Woman cape in the closet and left it home.....
This week, I broke a pattern yesterday when I took my nearly 3 year old son to the hair dressers for the first time. I cut every ones hair to save a buck and in return get screamed at and work up a sweat wrestling the little guy trying to cut a straight line in his hair. But yesterday he sat in a little red fire truck and watched Charlie Brown while a very nice lady cut his hair and I got to just sit back and relax and enjoy a professional do her work!
Sometimes the best intentions create a pattern that is not always the healthiest in the long run. Even though it was hard taking those two steps, I feel lighter and brighter for having the courage to do something "different." And every ones happier especially the kids.....
I've pushed through a huge pattern this month. Three month's after my daughter was born (she's 6 now) my husbands job moved us to New England. Without realizing it we became the most over protected parents on the planet. We even bought a $3,000 home gym including something that resembles a Smith machine, weight stack and a good treadmill. We did this because she was so precious to us - we didn't trust a Gym daycare. Basically for those two years my daughter was by my side 100% of the time. In fact, she didn't even really need to talk because I understood her every need and other then two or three visits from family - we didn't engage with anyone else other then the daily nosy neighbors. Four years ago we moved here and it was a very slow journey in finally joining a gym ( just to get out of the house) and getting my girl into Pre School when she was four. It was only two years ago that I let a friend watch my kids while my husband and I went on a date. Our first date in four years and two kids later was weird. I didn't know how to talk to him and I was afraid that we'd lost the magic that was there before we had kids, but months later on our second date there was a lightening of the spirit and I loved having that alone time with him. And I could see how important these dates were.
The major push into reality was about a month ago my husband had to catch an early flight and he'd already left for the airport an hour away. I took the kids out to the car for my girls last three days of school and with no earlier indication - the car didn't start.. Dead. I started crying realizing that I was going to be alone with two kids, no car and a few days of school left. I called my husband whom yelled, "what am I supposed to do about it - I'm going to miss my flight!" He came home and we threw the kids in the truck and got our girl off to school. It took my husband missing his plane for work for me to realize that I cannot do it on my own. Six months earlier I'd ran into a woman that I met when I moved here. I knew she was an over protected mother, a good mother. In our brief conversation she mentioned a drop off kids place in town that was "Incredible!" Last week when my hip went out I scheduled a quick chiropractic session. I'd normally drag my kids with me, be stressed out that they would be too loud, whine too much. That morning I thought, "no, it's better for me and it's better for the kids if I take this opportunity to reach out for help". I took them to the drop off care and when I returned, they were so happy and had a great time. And I was calm and relaxed - because I had put my Wonder Woman cape in the closet and left it home.....
This week, I broke a pattern yesterday when I took my nearly 3 year old son to the hair dressers for the first time. I cut every ones hair to save a buck and in return get screamed at and work up a sweat wrestling the little guy trying to cut a straight line in his hair. But yesterday he sat in a little red fire truck and watched Charlie Brown while a very nice lady cut his hair and I got to just sit back and relax and enjoy a professional do her work!
Sometimes the best intentions create a pattern that is not always the healthiest in the long run. Even though it was hard taking those two steps, I feel lighter and brighter for having the courage to do something "different." And every ones happier especially the kids.....
Monday, June 13, 2011
Hip hurt and loving it
Saturday I woke up with the most unbearable pain. My right hip wouldn't allow me to bend without bringing tears to my eyes. I went on a run Friday night and as I was a mile into my three mile run I felt a pop in my right thigh. I couldn't move. I didn't have my cell phone to call my husband - so I did what I had to do - drag my leg home. I felt like a wounded animal, so obvious with a gimp.
When I realized Saturday morning that I wouldn't be able to eat a Blizzard and tell myself that I'd run it off later - I knew I had to do something different. When I went into the kitchen to get an Advil, I saw the grains that I had been soaking to make my very first batch of Rejuvilac and Raw Cashew Cheese. It was the perfect day to do a Living Greens day. I put green powder into my water and set out on making my concoctions. I'm happy to report that my Rejuvilac turned out perfect which in turn made my nut cheese turn out perfect. Nut cheese is: 2 cups Rejuvilac, 2 cups raw cashews and a scoop of coconut oil, blend and refrigerate and 'vola, an amazing raw cheese.
I'm glad that my hip hurt long enough to slow me down so that I could prepare new and exciting things. It's been three days of "living foods" and my sugar and cheese addictions feel like a memory. Well almost....
Simple, simple, simple.....
When I realized Saturday morning that I wouldn't be able to eat a Blizzard and tell myself that I'd run it off later - I knew I had to do something different. When I went into the kitchen to get an Advil, I saw the grains that I had been soaking to make my very first batch of Rejuvilac and Raw Cashew Cheese. It was the perfect day to do a Living Greens day. I put green powder into my water and set out on making my concoctions. I'm happy to report that my Rejuvilac turned out perfect which in turn made my nut cheese turn out perfect. Nut cheese is: 2 cups Rejuvilac, 2 cups raw cashews and a scoop of coconut oil, blend and refrigerate and 'vola, an amazing raw cheese.
I'm glad that my hip hurt long enough to slow me down so that I could prepare new and exciting things. It's been three days of "living foods" and my sugar and cheese addictions feel like a memory. Well almost....
Simple, simple, simple.....
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Swing of Things
Good June to you. It's been a while since I've sat with a full thought having now two children home all day. I had hopes of this precious Summer with my babes, and yet at week two I feel haggard. My son won't take naps anymore and my daughter asks, "what are we doing, where are we going, can I have a Popsicle, can I go swimming," ever 5 minutes. Though a schedule is on paper it feels like nothing more then a map to the Holy Grail. It all looks good but has anyone ever touched it. It is touchable or is it a divine symbol. So far, my schedule remains a map to what could be....
On happy notes I have committed to writing my first book. The book is a biographical story detailing the major confirmation of my Intuitive abilities growing up. It is of course about Peter Steel of Type O Negative. How I knew I would meet him (and marry him,) how I moved from Montana to New York City, met, and started dating him having only been in New York a week. It's the tale of how it ended, how I reacted and how he came for a visit back to me after he passed away in 2010. The process has been difficult, liberating, joyous and sad. It's a healing journey and I'm grateful to take it. Particularly because I have the most stable, loving husband and children that allow me to go back to those memories without an ounce of "what if." If there was a "what if" I wouldn't have the blessings of a devoted husband and happy children that I Have...
Also, I am going to stop being selfish and fear full and begin my first teaching series on Intuition. The three part Series will cover all three of the Clair's, have an exercise on How it works followed by a meditation. July 11th, 18th and 25th at the Living Arts Wellness Center.
And finally, I have had my first Ozone Treatment which is a cozy steaming machine that circulates Ozone throughout the sauna. It kills cancer cells and oxygenates our body's. I loved the feeling of the treatment and my skin looks pure and clean.
And second finally, I took a writing class from Susan Alt at the local writing association. It's focus was on getting the usless words out of our sentences. I have a useless word addiction so I (and you) benefited from it greatly. Also - though I haven't actually read any of his novel's, I did pick up Steven Kings book, "On Writing," which is one of the best books that I've ever read. I have tremendous respect for his respect for the craft of writing...I couldn't put the book down..
If you have any comments or suggestions of more books on writing please share!
On happy notes I have committed to writing my first book. The book is a biographical story detailing the major confirmation of my Intuitive abilities growing up. It is of course about Peter Steel of Type O Negative. How I knew I would meet him (and marry him,) how I moved from Montana to New York City, met, and started dating him having only been in New York a week. It's the tale of how it ended, how I reacted and how he came for a visit back to me after he passed away in 2010. The process has been difficult, liberating, joyous and sad. It's a healing journey and I'm grateful to take it. Particularly because I have the most stable, loving husband and children that allow me to go back to those memories without an ounce of "what if." If there was a "what if" I wouldn't have the blessings of a devoted husband and happy children that I Have...
Also, I am going to stop being selfish and fear full and begin my first teaching series on Intuition. The three part Series will cover all three of the Clair's, have an exercise on How it works followed by a meditation. July 11th, 18th and 25th at the Living Arts Wellness Center.
And finally, I have had my first Ozone Treatment which is a cozy steaming machine that circulates Ozone throughout the sauna. It kills cancer cells and oxygenates our body's. I loved the feeling of the treatment and my skin looks pure and clean.
And second finally, I took a writing class from Susan Alt at the local writing association. It's focus was on getting the usless words out of our sentences. I have a useless word addiction so I (and you) benefited from it greatly. Also - though I haven't actually read any of his novel's, I did pick up Steven Kings book, "On Writing," which is one of the best books that I've ever read. I have tremendous respect for his respect for the craft of writing...I couldn't put the book down..
If you have any comments or suggestions of more books on writing please share!
Saturday, May 7, 2011
No Bitch'in
I titled this post as "No Bitch'in" because I've been through sooo many changes in the last few weeks. Though I want to drone on and on about all of it - the intention of my blog is for creative expression, not for complaining. With that being said - because of my ability to know that I don't know everything I got myself into some pretty unauthentic pracitces. I love exploring new thought, new people, new ideas. But the fact is is that if you loose yourself to the new, the affects can be so very damaging. I had my first experience of a physical problem. I had a spot come up on my chest/sternum that was cancerous. I had to go in and have a surgery to take away the skin around it, "just in case." I found the whole thing to be life chaning. It was a big deal having these stitches in my chest, my body moving akward to protect it, being unable to let my two year old pound away in my arms. My beautiful aunty Patty Mills passed away on Good Friday from her experience of Cancer. As my family in Montana celebrated her life with a service - I was on a table getting mine cut out..."Is this the reason I'm sooo attracted to Raw Food?" I thought to myself. I am challenging myself for better authenticity, more disipline in the things that I care about and better dilligence in my eating clean. Sometimes the denile we find ourselves in is so deep that we don't even know we're there again. "Boom!" Somethings happens and we're forced back into ourselves, and, if we're open, back to the road we were supposed to be on. As a medium, I know there is so much more then the sun and diet as to why I created that skin cancer cell. And as a human, I know the very fact that I think my beautiful white skin should be darker (for who?) is the very act of self denile.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Authentic from here
By myself:
I have been very happy in my Raw Food practice. As I said before I've gone less Gourmet and more Living foods i.e. Wheat grass, green juice, energy soup and salads and though I've been happy in that aspect of my life, changes are going on from within on an emotional level. I feel my life slamming me into Authentichood more then ever and even on the slightest action or words of non-authenticity, I feel the back lash of my body and my mood. Spirit yells, "why are you doing that, why are you saying that.!" I've been lifting heavy and hard weights for over two years now. I adore the strenght that my body posses now, but I don't love the area's that it asks me to give up i.e. Running. For the last few years as I lift and run, every time I over do it I get run down or sick. For months now I've been doing really good on getting the Raw in and I still get run down. So I ask myself, "why am I truely lifting?" Yes, I do enjoy it but I wonder if it speaks to my thoughts of being wonder woman - lifter and mover of all things." When I was pregnant it was running that I most fantacized about - not lifting 20lbs over my head. I do enjoy Yoga and have tried to do less lifting more yoga and I still find myself, "am I doing this because I have too or because I want to?" I've come to see that if I'm asking myself "why," it's my sign that it's not authentic for me and my spirit. Do I still think that I should lift weights and do Yoga - yes; but not with the same intensity that I run, clean house, play with my kids and tone in other fun ways. I've been referencing one time, one year in my life that every single thing that I did was so totally authentic that I remember nothing but complete power and pride in who I was. My 12th grade year. Yes I went to school and yes I had a job I didn't care for, but I never once asked myself, "why am I listening to this music, why am I wearing this, am I talking to EVERYONE?" When we leave home and school it seems like we immediately put on some sort of mask or begin that painful journey into external acceptance rather then that internal dial of spirit. I went right into Real Estate at 18. I was actually pretty darn good at it because I was doing something that I loved, but I dressed "grow up," and I had a single mission to not have my age found out. And as I look back, that was the beginning of Pretending. So I find myself trying to get back to myself in a very deep way and as I ask the questions "why," I gratiously remember that girl that walked so tall and spoke so directly and loved her life, music, clothing and dreams. And I've come to know in the last few years that being who you are gives everyone else the permission to be who they are and we can all be much more life filled. I admire women that live their selves couragously and seemingly fearlessly no matter what their steak in life is - if I feel the truth - I just revel in their beings. As a Medium I know there is so much more to illness and death and no matter what you eat, it's not the only reason that we cross over. But I like putting premium fuel in the only veichal that I'll ever have in this life. And with that, nurture my ancient spirit and let itself annimate its own truth, it's own purpose and you can love me or hate me, but at least you will know me...Humm, I like that, I think I just came up with it, "you can love me or hate me, but at least you'll know me....Isn't that what we long for the most, being known, being seen and seeing that in others. That's what I love about death - when people are faced with it their most authentic selves come forward and people sometimes meet for the first time people that they've known forever.
I have been very happy in my Raw Food practice. As I said before I've gone less Gourmet and more Living foods i.e. Wheat grass, green juice, energy soup and salads and though I've been happy in that aspect of my life, changes are going on from within on an emotional level. I feel my life slamming me into Authentichood more then ever and even on the slightest action or words of non-authenticity, I feel the back lash of my body and my mood. Spirit yells, "why are you doing that, why are you saying that.!" I've been lifting heavy and hard weights for over two years now. I adore the strenght that my body posses now, but I don't love the area's that it asks me to give up i.e. Running. For the last few years as I lift and run, every time I over do it I get run down or sick. For months now I've been doing really good on getting the Raw in and I still get run down. So I ask myself, "why am I truely lifting?" Yes, I do enjoy it but I wonder if it speaks to my thoughts of being wonder woman - lifter and mover of all things." When I was pregnant it was running that I most fantacized about - not lifting 20lbs over my head. I do enjoy Yoga and have tried to do less lifting more yoga and I still find myself, "am I doing this because I have too or because I want to?" I've come to see that if I'm asking myself "why," it's my sign that it's not authentic for me and my spirit. Do I still think that I should lift weights and do Yoga - yes; but not with the same intensity that I run, clean house, play with my kids and tone in other fun ways. I've been referencing one time, one year in my life that every single thing that I did was so totally authentic that I remember nothing but complete power and pride in who I was. My 12th grade year. Yes I went to school and yes I had a job I didn't care for, but I never once asked myself, "why am I listening to this music, why am I wearing this, am I talking to EVERYONE?" When we leave home and school it seems like we immediately put on some sort of mask or begin that painful journey into external acceptance rather then that internal dial of spirit. I went right into Real Estate at 18. I was actually pretty darn good at it because I was doing something that I loved, but I dressed "grow up," and I had a single mission to not have my age found out. And as I look back, that was the beginning of Pretending. So I find myself trying to get back to myself in a very deep way and as I ask the questions "why," I gratiously remember that girl that walked so tall and spoke so directly and loved her life, music, clothing and dreams. And I've come to know in the last few years that being who you are gives everyone else the permission to be who they are and we can all be much more life filled. I admire women that live their selves couragously and seemingly fearlessly no matter what their steak in life is - if I feel the truth - I just revel in their beings. As a Medium I know there is so much more to illness and death and no matter what you eat, it's not the only reason that we cross over. But I like putting premium fuel in the only veichal that I'll ever have in this life. And with that, nurture my ancient spirit and let itself annimate its own truth, it's own purpose and you can love me or hate me, but at least you will know me...Humm, I like that, I think I just came up with it, "you can love me or hate me, but at least you'll know me....Isn't that what we long for the most, being known, being seen and seeing that in others. That's what I love about death - when people are faced with it their most authentic selves come forward and people sometimes meet for the first time people that they've known forever.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Spirt is Behind it...
Isn't it amazing how all things are strung together by Spirit. Remember the Starbucks gift card that I recieved from a mother named Jamie as my son had his sidewalk roll down. Well for some reason I felt like it hadn't ever been the right time to use it. I had a few coffee's since then, but it never felt "right" to use the card. Sunday was the day that I tried to use my gift card at Barnes and Nobles Starbucks. They declined using it because they apparently do not concider themselves Starbucks (boo). So I paid cash for my childrens cookie and my husband and I's coffee. As my family was leaving Barnes I noticed a man looking run down and digging in the garbage. After we got the kids in the car and I "read" him I hopped out and told him that if he was hungry I had this card for him. He was taken aback and deeply grateful. He told me his name was Richard and I told him mine. I reached out and touched his arm and said that I was glad to know him. It was about to rain as we said our good-byes and I turned to get in the car. I was amused at the gift of the moment. I was handed a gift card that was a gift for someone in my future. She gave me a gift and I in return gave him one. Isn't it beautiful how we are all connected.
On a side note; also in Barnes that day; I was coming around the corner to look at a book and when I turned to go back to the Kids area - there she was, my friend Sarah was kneeling looking at a book. She had called me a few times earlier that week and I hadn't called her back yet. Out of all the places to be and times to be there, we crossed right in front of eachother....
On a side note; also in Barnes that day; I was coming around the corner to look at a book and when I turned to go back to the Kids area - there she was, my friend Sarah was kneeling looking at a book. She had called me a few times earlier that week and I hadn't called her back yet. Out of all the places to be and times to be there, we crossed right in front of eachother....
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Living Food class
Tuesday was the 1st of 6 Living Food classes by Celeste at The Colorado Living Arts Center. I'm so grateful for further education classes. Even though I've heard Celeste say many times the phrase "Living Food," it didn't register the way it did on Tuesdays class before. I have a somewhat ambitious Raw Food schedule that was yummy, but perhaps too much for my time and money schedule. Hearing Celeste say Living Food and another woman confirm the expense of a Raw Food (Gourmet) something shifted in me. I am seeking that healthful feeling both in my my body, spirit and mind and the simplicity of a diet is how I've achieved it in the past. Before I had children I maintained a size 6 jean for years, and I find now that I'm a mom and responsible for their diet and feelings about food - I'm just all over the place. I still take them to Dairy Queen for "something to do," then I kring when I think of what I'm teaching them, "let's eat some crap when we want to have a good time." I guess I'm not totally convienced that those things aren't ok once in a while which is how often we do that - once in a while. But I worry about the emotions behind the act. I've witnessed first hand the clarity of mind and body and emotion when I eat Raw Food and I want that to be the foundation of my childrens diet. I see that I've digressed; the term Living Food was powerful for my mind and heart on Tuesday. Living Green Food. Sprouted food, grown food, untouched food blended aiding in digestion. I'm revamping my goals to simplicity. I'm going to focus on less fluff and more minerals and enzymes. Thank you Celeste for focusing and teaching the Living Foods art. It's something sooo basic, yet it feels like another language when we are not raised around natural food.
My weeks Living food goals are:
Green juice in the morning (no more coffee)
Banana for snack
Energy soup for lunch
veggie for snack
Energy soup for dinner
*attempt at making Quinwa (sp?)
Love,
Kates
My weeks Living food goals are:
Green juice in the morning (no more coffee)
Banana for snack
Energy soup for lunch
veggie for snack
Energy soup for dinner
*attempt at making Quinwa (sp?)
Love,
Kates
Monday, April 4, 2011
Sunday Till Now
This is why I wanted to create a blog. Under the last 6 years of parenting I would normally put my writing off - yet another day which would turn into a week, maybe a month. Today is just one of those thankfully rare days where nothing has gone on schedule, and as many of you know, schedule is everything to keep a mothers mind calm. But since I've made this commitment to a blog, I've made a commitment to myself and you, so even though it's 9:30 the kids are still bop'in around (it's a long story) I'm going to sit still and connect to my journey.
Sunday food Preperation: As I said before, I'm going to shop for fresh produce on Sat and Tue. and prepare on Sun and Wednesdays. Yesterday was my first big day preperation. I did take pictures for you, which I expect to upload tomorrow. I did accomplish making RAW:
Pecan and Almond Milk
Walnut Pate
Almond with cholocate chip Ice Cream
Brownies
Marinara Sauce
Orange Cream Sauce
Tahini Dressing
It was a wonderful Sunday. Having this intention of Thoughtful eating and concious preperation, I find it extending to other aspects of my life. For the first time in a long time, we as a family just hung out Sunday morning. No rushing here and there, just sitting, napping, talking and connecting as a little family. Then when I felt inspired, I went into my kitchen to create. It was around two hours. I find that once I get used to doing something the time of course refines quite a bit.
The diagnosis of the food: I over sweetned the milk with a new recipe that sweetned with Maple syrup rather then dates and it seperates and has an different after taste, the Walnut Pate' actually turned out beautiful - full of flavor and moist, the ice cream though not 100% raw turned out good. I think I put too much in my ice cream maker because it didn't get totally creamed up so next time I won't put too much in the maker. It also froze weird - hard like Ice. The Brownies were increadible, moist and stayed together. I finally remembered to Process the walnuts before I put the rest of the ingrediants in and I processed the dates next, then added the rest of the ingrediants - wonderful ! Even though I made 3x's the recipe for the Marinara sauce, it was gone before dinnertime. I couldn't get my hands out of it as I was preparing it and my husband scarfed it down behind my back before I had a chance to notice. I found the empty glass container this morning and I actually felt mad for a minute. The anger quickly turned into laughter - this stuff is THAT GOOD - he would secretly have a Marinara party and endure hearing about my crinkled up nose when I discovered the evidance...Orange sauce was ok - I don't know if I love raw cashews yet - I could totally taste them even after the rest of the ingrediants were added and blended. And finally - the Tahini dressing was amazing. Another thing I had to find some carrot sticks and get into it before dinner - it was so smooth and creamy.
One finaly note is that eating 100% raw yesterday set me up for a kind day. I was more focused, inspired, patient and light feeling. That feeling carried over to today which I started with a run on my treadmill at 6am, followed by my favorite Yoga class at 9am at the gym. I was so patient with everyone and everything and my kids mimic me - so they were connected and calm and we had a ton of laughs and snuggles today. Then, I did what I normally do so often; the day did not follow schedule as my son actually fell asleep in my arms for a nap around 6pm (his bed time is 7'ish). I mean I haven't got to hold a sleeping child for nearly 2 years so this was very dear. After 2 hours of holding him I started to get hungry and my husband made a frozen California cheese pizza for the kids because it was getting late. I asked my daughter to hand me a slice and there it was: afterwards I felt more irritable and sluggish. I tried to go for a run after he woke up and I could feel that pizza sitting in my tummy even though it had been hours...More conviction that Raw Food is perfect for me.
I will get some pictures of the food up tomorrow so you can see what these things ended up looking like. Until then - Thank you everyone, new and old in my life for your support. I value each and every one of you that has sent me a note of encouragement. Love you, Kate
Sunday food Preperation: As I said before, I'm going to shop for fresh produce on Sat and Tue. and prepare on Sun and Wednesdays. Yesterday was my first big day preperation. I did take pictures for you, which I expect to upload tomorrow. I did accomplish making RAW:
Pecan and Almond Milk
Walnut Pate
Almond with cholocate chip Ice Cream
Brownies
Marinara Sauce
Orange Cream Sauce
Tahini Dressing
It was a wonderful Sunday. Having this intention of Thoughtful eating and concious preperation, I find it extending to other aspects of my life. For the first time in a long time, we as a family just hung out Sunday morning. No rushing here and there, just sitting, napping, talking and connecting as a little family. Then when I felt inspired, I went into my kitchen to create. It was around two hours. I find that once I get used to doing something the time of course refines quite a bit.
The diagnosis of the food: I over sweetned the milk with a new recipe that sweetned with Maple syrup rather then dates and it seperates and has an different after taste, the Walnut Pate' actually turned out beautiful - full of flavor and moist, the ice cream though not 100% raw turned out good. I think I put too much in my ice cream maker because it didn't get totally creamed up so next time I won't put too much in the maker. It also froze weird - hard like Ice. The Brownies were increadible, moist and stayed together. I finally remembered to Process the walnuts before I put the rest of the ingrediants in and I processed the dates next, then added the rest of the ingrediants - wonderful ! Even though I made 3x's the recipe for the Marinara sauce, it was gone before dinnertime. I couldn't get my hands out of it as I was preparing it and my husband scarfed it down behind my back before I had a chance to notice. I found the empty glass container this morning and I actually felt mad for a minute. The anger quickly turned into laughter - this stuff is THAT GOOD - he would secretly have a Marinara party and endure hearing about my crinkled up nose when I discovered the evidance...Orange sauce was ok - I don't know if I love raw cashews yet - I could totally taste them even after the rest of the ingrediants were added and blended. And finally - the Tahini dressing was amazing. Another thing I had to find some carrot sticks and get into it before dinner - it was so smooth and creamy.
One finaly note is that eating 100% raw yesterday set me up for a kind day. I was more focused, inspired, patient and light feeling. That feeling carried over to today which I started with a run on my treadmill at 6am, followed by my favorite Yoga class at 9am at the gym. I was so patient with everyone and everything and my kids mimic me - so they were connected and calm and we had a ton of laughs and snuggles today. Then, I did what I normally do so often; the day did not follow schedule as my son actually fell asleep in my arms for a nap around 6pm (his bed time is 7'ish). I mean I haven't got to hold a sleeping child for nearly 2 years so this was very dear. After 2 hours of holding him I started to get hungry and my husband made a frozen California cheese pizza for the kids because it was getting late. I asked my daughter to hand me a slice and there it was: afterwards I felt more irritable and sluggish. I tried to go for a run after he woke up and I could feel that pizza sitting in my tummy even though it had been hours...More conviction that Raw Food is perfect for me.
I will get some pictures of the food up tomorrow so you can see what these things ended up looking like. Until then - Thank you everyone, new and old in my life for your support. I value each and every one of you that has sent me a note of encouragement. Love you, Kate
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Saturday shoppin and soakin
Good night friends! I'm doing something new that I have not had the clarity to do before: shop and soak the night before. So I'll shop for fresh produce on Sat and Tuesdays and prepare staples on Sundays and Wednesdays. The itenary for tomorrow is: Raw Brownies, Raw Ice cream, Raw almond and pecan milks, walnut Pate, raw marinera sauce, and raw cinnimon rolls. I'll give you some recipies tomorrow and let you know how the day of preperation goes. Good night my soaking almonds, pecans, walnuts and cashews (shhh, the cashews are for a sweet orange vanilla glaze that I'll put on some fruit - yumm). I think the next three days of eating Raw will look something like:
Fruit soup my daughter calls it:
Almond milk
Blueberries
Apple
Flax seeds
Energy soup:
Sunflower sprouts
Spinach
Carrot
Cucumber
Sundried tomatos
Garlic
Avacado - yumm
Spagetti:
Raw Marinara sauce
over? (I could make some raw noodles out of zuchinni if I had a spiraler)
Raw brownie with raw Pecan Icecream
I can't wait for tomorrow!
As my grandma Goerger used to say: "night night..."
Fruit soup my daughter calls it:
Almond milk
Blueberries
Apple
Flax seeds
Energy soup:
Sunflower sprouts
Spinach
Carrot
Cucumber
Sundried tomatos
Garlic
Avacado - yumm
Spagetti:
Raw Marinara sauce
over? (I could make some raw noodles out of zuchinni if I had a spiraler)
Raw brownie with raw Pecan Icecream
I can't wait for tomorrow!
As my grandma Goerger used to say: "night night..."
6 Weeks to Raw Food school
Raw Food:
Ok, so, it's only 6 more weeks until I take that exciting step to the Living Light Culinary Institute. Since I registered I feel a sence of more breath, more life force has entered my body. Something wonderful to look forward to perhaps, or a sence that I'm really going to get the hang of this health thing. In terms of Raw Food I've become very skilled at making some basics: Nut milk, sprouting, Pate' making. The other day I found the most amazing Pecan Milk recipe in my Raw Food Real World book. My husband loves Pecan pie more then anything - so I made the raw Pecan milk for him and it was a great sucess! If my blog will allow it - I'll try to make a video of Nut Milk making and show you the easy tricks that I learned from my friend and teacher Sherri Peale. Also, my friend and Raw Food teacher Celeste is having a 6 week Raw Food series at her place Colorado Living Arts that I'm looking forward too. I find that even though I know how to do many of the things that will be in her series, having local support and different teachers has given me many different ways of doing things. Each class brings a new gift of ease and understanding. Many people ask me "why Raw Food." And it's simple, when I do 100% Raw Food I feel different, more calm, more in control, more alive and my skin literally glows and my nails get strong and long. Also, the research on the health benefits are amazing. Since my day job is that of a Medium, I talk to so many people that have either crossed over from cancer, are dealing with cancer or a family member witnessing a loved ones decent into cancer. Food choices and lifestyle is a huge factor in why our bodies experience cancer. I've actually met three women that had breast cancer and went to the Ann Wigmore Institute in Puorto Rico and CURED their cancer through wheatgrass, Energy Soup and other Raw Food therapys. So as you can see, my children are very young and my desire to send them into their future with healthful, life affirming, spirit soaring kills is critical. I know as good as anyone my age that breaking the food habbits of the past are sooo difficult as they are tied to everything. Admittingly around year 2 of my Raw Food studies I was so egar to stop the connection of horrible feeling food for my family that I decided to do a personal fast on Christmas day. As you can suspect, that was one of the saddest Christmas to date (other then the joy of my husband and babies). I felt like I wanted to change but I didn't have the skills to create new memories in a healthful way. So my trip to the Living Light is a huge deal for me, my children and the many blessing that I know are coming our way from this one decision.
To our health and joyful spirits! Love Kate
Ok, so, it's only 6 more weeks until I take that exciting step to the Living Light Culinary Institute. Since I registered I feel a sence of more breath, more life force has entered my body. Something wonderful to look forward to perhaps, or a sence that I'm really going to get the hang of this health thing. In terms of Raw Food I've become very skilled at making some basics: Nut milk, sprouting, Pate' making. The other day I found the most amazing Pecan Milk recipe in my Raw Food Real World book. My husband loves Pecan pie more then anything - so I made the raw Pecan milk for him and it was a great sucess! If my blog will allow it - I'll try to make a video of Nut Milk making and show you the easy tricks that I learned from my friend and teacher Sherri Peale. Also, my friend and Raw Food teacher Celeste is having a 6 week Raw Food series at her place Colorado Living Arts that I'm looking forward too. I find that even though I know how to do many of the things that will be in her series, having local support and different teachers has given me many different ways of doing things. Each class brings a new gift of ease and understanding. Many people ask me "why Raw Food." And it's simple, when I do 100% Raw Food I feel different, more calm, more in control, more alive and my skin literally glows and my nails get strong and long. Also, the research on the health benefits are amazing. Since my day job is that of a Medium, I talk to so many people that have either crossed over from cancer, are dealing with cancer or a family member witnessing a loved ones decent into cancer. Food choices and lifestyle is a huge factor in why our bodies experience cancer. I've actually met three women that had breast cancer and went to the Ann Wigmore Institute in Puorto Rico and CURED their cancer through wheatgrass, Energy Soup and other Raw Food therapys. So as you can see, my children are very young and my desire to send them into their future with healthful, life affirming, spirit soaring kills is critical. I know as good as anyone my age that breaking the food habbits of the past are sooo difficult as they are tied to everything. Admittingly around year 2 of my Raw Food studies I was so egar to stop the connection of horrible feeling food for my family that I decided to do a personal fast on Christmas day. As you can suspect, that was one of the saddest Christmas to date (other then the joy of my husband and babies). I felt like I wanted to change but I didn't have the skills to create new memories in a healthful way. So my trip to the Living Light is a huge deal for me, my children and the many blessing that I know are coming our way from this one decision.
To our health and joyful spirits! Love Kate
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Coffee and a tantrum
Ok, this post is pertaining to parenting:
Yesterday was a beautiful morning - so beautiful in fact that after I dropped Aradia off at school I felt like grabbing a coffee. As I was getting my son out of the car seat he asked for his train. I set him down and grabbed his train from the Hummer. As I handed it to him it apparently was NOT the train that he had in mind and he threw himself onto the ground. We were still parked in the street so I coaxed him onto the side walk where he took a few more steps and threw himself again onto the ground. He is getting close to the age of 3 and this behavior has been coming on for at least a year. But the last few months he does it no matter where we are. I get so embaressed that I ususally grab him and go, but this morning was different. It was so lovely and the sidewalk was so clean and there was hardly anyone walking by and I was unusually calm - so I thought, I'm just going to take a seat and let him stop screaming and yelling and tossing about on his own. Of course two men walked towards me and one took a seat near the spectical, but I was committed - I was going to see this tantrum to the end. I sat comfortable at my new found sidewalk table and started singing to the old time music that Starbucks was pipeing through, enjoying myself. I notice a woman at the resturant across the street was looking at our show and she began to walk towards us. "I can handle anything right now even if she decides to have a tantrum too," I thought to myself. Instead, when she got to me she said, "are you ok?" I answered honestly, "Yes, I'm doing great!" She said, " I have to tell you, you're my hero! I have 4 girls and 1 son and it's only my son that does the same thing!!!" We smiled understandingly ( maybe even giggled) and said, "have a great day," to eachother and she with inside. Then a man in his 50's rode by on a bike and gave me a knowing smile. At this point Braeden is so mad that I haven't come to give him anything just to quiet him up, he begins to roll and drool. It was then that I noticed that most of the people under the age of 30 gave me confused and a few times nasty looks. Then a beautiful blonde woman in her 40's came right up to me and said, "You are my hero! My son is 12 and he STILL acts like that! What a great job you are doing. Keep it up!" Now I'm feeling better about taking a stand against my son's behavior. The man sitting at the other table finally got up and said, "are we having a bad day?" I looked him right in his eye and said, "I'm having a wonderful day, how about you?" I got back to singing and swaying to the music and I had the thought, "what if someone calls the police - is there something illegal about allowing a baby to have a tantrum in Public???" My face blushed at the thought...Then, the mother that had the 5 kids came back to me and handed me a beautiful gift certificate with the words, "to a good mama, love Jamie." It was a precious moment between two women that are sooo devoted to the character of their children, that they would even brave the waters of a sidewalk tantrum proudly and with honor knowing that one day soon, our beloved sons may get the lesson that sidewalks are cold, drool is messy and mama's won't fall for it any longer.....
Thank you dear Jamie where ever you are (and who ever you are) for your heart warming support. I needed it!
Yesterday was a beautiful morning - so beautiful in fact that after I dropped Aradia off at school I felt like grabbing a coffee. As I was getting my son out of the car seat he asked for his train. I set him down and grabbed his train from the Hummer. As I handed it to him it apparently was NOT the train that he had in mind and he threw himself onto the ground. We were still parked in the street so I coaxed him onto the side walk where he took a few more steps and threw himself again onto the ground. He is getting close to the age of 3 and this behavior has been coming on for at least a year. But the last few months he does it no matter where we are. I get so embaressed that I ususally grab him and go, but this morning was different. It was so lovely and the sidewalk was so clean and there was hardly anyone walking by and I was unusually calm - so I thought, I'm just going to take a seat and let him stop screaming and yelling and tossing about on his own. Of course two men walked towards me and one took a seat near the spectical, but I was committed - I was going to see this tantrum to the end. I sat comfortable at my new found sidewalk table and started singing to the old time music that Starbucks was pipeing through, enjoying myself. I notice a woman at the resturant across the street was looking at our show and she began to walk towards us. "I can handle anything right now even if she decides to have a tantrum too," I thought to myself. Instead, when she got to me she said, "are you ok?" I answered honestly, "Yes, I'm doing great!" She said, " I have to tell you, you're my hero! I have 4 girls and 1 son and it's only my son that does the same thing!!!" We smiled understandingly ( maybe even giggled) and said, "have a great day," to eachother and she with inside. Then a man in his 50's rode by on a bike and gave me a knowing smile. At this point Braeden is so mad that I haven't come to give him anything just to quiet him up, he begins to roll and drool. It was then that I noticed that most of the people under the age of 30 gave me confused and a few times nasty looks. Then a beautiful blonde woman in her 40's came right up to me and said, "You are my hero! My son is 12 and he STILL acts like that! What a great job you are doing. Keep it up!" Now I'm feeling better about taking a stand against my son's behavior. The man sitting at the other table finally got up and said, "are we having a bad day?" I looked him right in his eye and said, "I'm having a wonderful day, how about you?" I got back to singing and swaying to the music and I had the thought, "what if someone calls the police - is there something illegal about allowing a baby to have a tantrum in Public???" My face blushed at the thought...Then, the mother that had the 5 kids came back to me and handed me a beautiful gift certificate with the words, "to a good mama, love Jamie." It was a precious moment between two women that are sooo devoted to the character of their children, that they would even brave the waters of a sidewalk tantrum proudly and with honor knowing that one day soon, our beloved sons may get the lesson that sidewalks are cold, drool is messy and mama's won't fall for it any longer.....
Thank you dear Jamie where ever you are (and who ever you are) for your heart warming support. I needed it!
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